


it's just good politics ( you're more than a pretty face )

by melanoradrood



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bodyguard, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Politics, F/M, NSFW, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-22
Updated: 2018-08-04
Packaged: 2019-05-27 01:10:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 42,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15013427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melanoradrood/pseuds/melanoradrood
Summary: She doesn't need a bodyguard, and she especially doesn't need this one... but it looks like she's stuck with him.Maybe they'll figure something out. Maybe they won't.





	1. Chapter 1

“Papa, I don’t need a bodyguard.”

Jyn has already said it at least fifteen times, but she’ll keep saying it until he listens. Yes, she understands that there’s a threat against her, but honestly, she’s more concerned about the creep in the Biology lab she teaches on Thursdays than Orson Krennic. 

“Please, listen to me, Stardust. I know you can take care of yourself, but it would give me peace of mind.”

She’s giving her father a long glare, one that says that she’s not budging, and the look she gets back is practically a mirror. After all, she learned be stubborn from her Papa, refusing to budge even an inch. 

Someone has to move eventually, and she already knows he’s going to pull the card, because he lets out a sigh, runs his hand into his greying hair, and looks away, like he’s lost to another time, lost in thought, lost to his memories. “Your mother, she would know what to say. We both always want the best for you, Jyn. I know that you can protect yourself, but this is something serious. He wants me to resign, and he’s willing to threaten you to get it.”

She knows that the bill is important to her father, that passing clean energy is his life’s goal, and that he won’t back down from Orson Krennic, his former close friend and former supporter. She also knows that she won’t let her father resign from the Senate, because he’s one of the few politicians that isn’t corrupt, that believes in their cause, that doesn’t have anyone feeding their pockets.

The only person that had been doing that was Krennic, and as soon as her father realized what was going on the Clean Energy Act was born. Blackmail had begun almost immediately, but her father, always the honest one, had opened up all of his secrets, about his wife, about his friendship with Saw Gerrera, about his former friendship with Orson Krennic, and how he had once accepted money, not realizing what it was tied to.

People loved him for his honesty, spoke of him running for Vice President, or even President. And now, Jyn was the one being threatened, threatened to get him to step down, to step aside, to let the bill die.

“Does it really mean that much do you?” she says with a sigh, and her father looks up, eyes a little hopeful. Jyn knows that he wouldn’t speak about her mother unless he was worried, truly worried. 

“Oh, Jyn… You do not know how much I worry for your safety. If anything were to happen to you-”

“ _ Only _ until the bill is passed,” she says, and she’s raising a hand towards her father, finger pointing, making certain that he listens to her. “And I’m still refusing Secret Service protection if you become President.”

Her father wouldn’t run for president, refused to run, but as an Independent, it seemed as though both parties wanted him on their ballot… He was strictly against, but Jyn knew that they wanted him for a good reason - her father, for all of his awkwardness, lack of public speaking abilities, and general anxieties, was a good man. He couldn’t be bought, believed in protecting people and the planet, and was all in all the only decent human being in the capital. 

Her father was going to be President one day, but that didn’t mean her life had to change.

“Just until the threat is gone,” he responds. It’s not complete agreement, but if it would keep him from worrying…

 

* * *

 

“There’s a huge fucking problem with this guy,” Jyn hisses into the phone, and she can hear Bodhi snorting on the other end of the line. 

“What is it? Your father  _ and _ the President handpicked him. He’s one of the best Special Operatives they have, is young enough that he can blend in as a TA or even a late student, and he’s easy on the eyes.”

Jyn nearly threw her phone in response, and she should have just taken Bodhi coffee and donuts before she yelled at her father’s Aide, but now she’s stuck sitting in her office on the other side of the city with a very very very attractive man in a suit standing on the other side of the door she just slammed.

“Dammit, Bo, that’s the problem. I agreed to a bodyguard, not someone from the Secret Service.”

“Jyn, you should be honored that the President is allowing you protection. That like… never happens. You have to literally be someone important.”

She knew what Bo meant, because she said it herself, that she was just a Senator’s daughter, not important, but it kind of stung in the moment… And yes, she knew that this was a big deal, but it was just Krennic throwing around baseless threats. She had seen the man drunk on a Tuesday on her father’s couch from drinking too much Smirnoff. She wasn’t scared of Orson Krennic.

“Yes, and in that suit, he sticks out like a sore thumb,” she hisses into the phone. Not to mention how attractive he was… all eyes would be on Jyn and the guy that followed her around.

“Then take him shopping, put him in new clothes. He’s fresh out the military, was accepted into the CIA and the FBI as well, and he’s… well, Jyn, I think he may have killed more men than you.”

Jyn rolled her eyes, because the only men she killed were when she was practicing her self defense - or killing them with rejection at a bar - but now, she maybe did want to see this guy’s resume - Only not, because she wasn’t keeping him.

“Send someone else, Bo.”

“Don’t make me put your father on the phone.”

For two seconds, Jyn was no longer 25 years old with two BSs and a MS, working on her PhD. She felt like an eight year old, with a Nanny, because her mother was dead, and her father worked too much.

“... God dammit, Bodhi. I don’t have time to deal with this.”

“I know, but you have to deal with it all the same,” Bodhi half sings to her, and honestly, she’s going to kill him next.

“Hate you.”

“I love you too, Jynnie. See you Friday night?”

She scoffs, because she doesn’t want to do drinks with her father’s aide, his boyfriend, the boyfriend’s sister, and her new bodyguard. “Only if I can ditch the suit.”

“Don’t you dare-”

Jyn hangs up the phone and lets out a sigh before she finally stands up from her desk, heading to the door. When she opens it, she’s greeted by the same face, eyebrows raised, hands on his hips. He looks too damn good in that suit for it to be legal.

 

* * *

 

For at least ten seconds, Jyn just stares at the suit that’s in front of her door. He looks good, honestly, and she can’t fault Bodhi for choosing him. He’s so perfectly clean shaven, his jawline is absolute sin, and his eyes, fuck, his eyes… and what really kills her is the hair, and she wants to wreck it and ruin it. Really, Jyn has never been for the boys that are all cleaned up, preferring her men to have a bit of stubble to them, hands that are rough from using them, that look like they could beat the shit out of someone…

Okay, maybe she’s just attracted to another version of herself. Nothing wrong with that.

This? This isn’t it. This is definitely not another version of herself, but he still - 

She has to say something.

“We’re going shopping.”

There’s only a slight raise of his eyebrow in response, and then his arms shift to cross over his chest. She scoffs at him before turning to shut her laptop and shove it into her bag. She has papers to grade, already in there, and a thousand other things she needs to do, but if this guy is going to be following her all around Georgetown, she needs him to look less like… well, like he is what he is. A suit and tie is nothing uncommon in Washington, but really, he looks so painfully obvious, people might think she was mildly important.

“Whatever you say, Ms. Erso. I’m Agent-”

“First names,” she says, because she doesn’t want to hear it. “You call me Jyn, and I call you-”

There’s a pause, and she’s locking her door after half stepping into his personal space, and then she’s looking up at him - most people would move, would step away, but he stood his ground, was looking down at her, their bodies so close, she knew he was wearing a gun.

“Cassian.”

She smiles with her lips and not with her eyes in response, and turns to continue down the hallway. She doesn’t really care anything else he has to say - better that way - but she wants to clear up a few issues from the start. “I don’t want you here, but I’m stuck with you. I didn’t choose you - and really, it’s just Orson. The man is a fucking idiot. He wouldn’t be so stupid as to send someone after me, and if he did, well, you’re probably useless.”

“Doesn’t really matter what the threat is,” Cassian says, and she knows she is speed walking, making the man having to half chase her, but she wants to beat traffic to find him appropriate attire. “I’m here to just keep you safe.”

“Even when there’s no point and I’m no one?” she asks, and Cassian gives a shrug.

“Your father is a Senator, and the President chose me specifically to keep you out of harm’s way. That means I’m stuck with you, and you’re stuck with me.”

She knows that, knows that all too well, and she knows, deep down, that this is his job, and really, no one would choose to babysit her… She’s going to tolerate this as best she can.

“Well, I don’t exactly need anyone here knowing who you are. If you didn’t notice from the name on the door, I go by my mother’s maiden name. No one here really knows who my father is, so having a bodyguard? Not exactly a good look. I need you to blend in, which means-”

“I do have other clothes,” he says, and it sounds almost awkward as she climbs into her car. He follows, and she rolls her eyes a little. 

“Right, clothes. Probably more suits. You’re on a university campus, and while this isn’t a party school, people are more relaxed here. You’ll need jeans, and button ups, and clothes that you can blend in with.”

“And what will we tell people?” he asks, and Jyn rolls her eyes, because the easy answer would be to tell people they’re dating. 

“That you’re considering working on your Doctorate here, and are following me around for the semester to gain your footing.”

Cassian scoffs, and she thins her eyes a little as she starts up the car. “What, do you think you can’t pretend to be smart enough to work on your Doctorate? I thought that the Secret Service only accepted applicants with Degrees. Surely you’re more than a hired gun.”

It’s a low blow, exceedingly rude, and she knows that, particularly when he bristles a little.

“I have two degrees, actually, and a Masters. I’m more than a set of muscles, but I’m not sure you’re much more than a pretty face. If you were smart, you would be more serious about the threat against you, which makes my job even harder, keeping you safe. We can play this your way, but you’re stuck with me, because this is my assignment. Get used to it.”

She grips the steering wheel, particularly when he calls her a  _ pretty face _ , as if she wasn’t outstandingly brilliant, didn’t have multiple degrees, as if she couldn’t kick his ass - but fine then. If he wanted to be a complete and total ass, well, they didn’t have to talk.

“Get out,” she says, and they haven’t even made it out of the parking lot.

“What?”

She’s pulled over now, and she turns to look at him, fire in her eyes. “You heard me. Out. I thought I would be nice, help you to blend in, make your job easier, maybe figure out a little bit of trust between us, because I don’t want you here, and you clearly don’t want to be here, but no. It’s obvious we can’t get along. Get out. I don’t need a bodyguard.”

He looked just as pissed, but Jyn didn’t care. After a long moment, he unhooked his seatbelt and climbed out. “I’m calling your father. If he wants you to be free of me, then fine, but you had better go straight home.”

He pulls something out of his pocket, and Jyn realizes it’s a tracker when he slams it onto her dashboard. Her eyes thin at it, but she doesn’t go to pull it off, instead flicking her eyes back up to his.

“Goodbye, Agent… whatever.”

The door slams shut, and Jyn hits the gas, flying out of the parking lot.

 

* * *

 

When she opens the door the next morning, Agent Cassian whatever is standing there wearing jeans and a hoodie with two coffees in hand, and Jyn says nothing, simply accepting one before they head down to her car, silence settling between them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I mean, do I ever really know what I'm doing?
> 
> Chapter 2 should be up in the next few days, or maybe I'll post Chapter 1 of something else, or maybe I'll post another crowd funded crack porn I'm working on. I'm trying to get more flexible and write more short stuff that I can throw out without stressing too much about schedules, because I'm busy IRL. I plan on doing some big things again, but I have shorter stuff in the works right now.
> 
> If you want to chat or see what else I'm doing, you can find me on [tumblr](http://melanoradrood.tumblr.com).


	2. Chapter 2

He’s not as terrible as he originally seemed. In the morning, he’s always outside her door, and when she goes for her morning run, he joins her. She had asked about at night, but there’s another agent that watches her house at night. The threat looks to be like it’s planned to be something more public, so they’re not too worried about her being at home, alone. He joins her in all of her classes, and he looks to be taking notes, although of what, she doesn’t know. He joins her at lunch, whether it’s somewhere on campus or going off or even bringing lunch. He even brings her lunch a few days, when her work is too heavy. He stays with her when she heads home, and once she parks, he leaves, although Jyn considers inviting him in, inviting him to stay and eat. 

Her social calendar suffers. She cancels drinks with Bodhi, ignores Leia’s calls, and shuts herself away for the next month, both because she doesn’t feel like having Cassian following her, but also because she’s busy, busy with classes, busy with her own research. She spends more hours at work, and she feels bad for Cassian, who has to sit there watching her, but he doesn’t try to talk to her.

It’s so weird, that she knows so much about him, both everything from his file, but also how he takes his food, how he reads, how he studies things like he’s not paying attention but is analyzing everything… She knows so much about him, but still knows nothing. They don’t talk, don’t say a word.

It’s weird, but it works.

It works because neither of them are good at talking. She realizes that very quickly, realizes that he goes hours without saying a word, but when he does have to speak, like speaking to a waitress, or answering his phone, he looks awkward, like he doesn’t know how to explain himself. Jyn feels the same, unless she’s speaking in class, but that’s only when she’s giving a lecture. When she answers questions, she normally gets through alright, but her office hours, she fumbles through.

It makes sense, then, that they can get along in their silence so easily. 

But they do communicate, in their own way. 

He offers her coffee, she leads him through the park on their run, he hands her a new stack of papers when she’s done with the old one, she hands him condiments at lunch… they talk without talking, and it works, and maybe he’s not that terrible.

She eventually realizes that she should have taken him shopping, because he seems to rotate between the same three pairs of pants, and he’s always wearing a hoodie, some sort of hoodie, with a tshirt underneath and after two weeks, she realizes he bought all of his clothes at Old Navy.

For some reason, Cassian Andor does not seem like the kind of man that shops at Old Navy… it doesn’t take a genius for her to realize that all he did own was suits… well, and workout clothes. He has those, and she tries not to notice him when he’s wearing workout clothes, because the shorts are tight across his ass, and they do nothing to hide what he is working with in the front, and the shirts… they pull tight across his chest, and he might actually have a larger chest than she does, and his waist is… tight.

All of him is exceptionally tight and really she misses the suits because those were… it’s either the baggy Old Navy clothes or the tight workout clothes these days and both of them are torture because she wants to peel him out of everything.

Literally.

Literally, Jyn wants to tug up the loose tshirts and explore the trail of hair that dips down into his pants. She wants to loosen his jeans and sink to her knees, mouth at him through his boxer briefs, and she knows that’s what they are, because he purchased the wrong size jeans, and wore the wrong kind of belt initially, and she…

But fuck, when they go running, and he wears the tanktops… it’s not right. It’s just not right. It’s not decent. She wants to run her nails over her his arms, dig them into his skin… she wants him to use those muscles to lift her up, to pin her against every surface they can reach - 

ARGUABLY, it has been a while, and it’s not her fault that she’s so turned on… arguably, he’s just fucking hot, and she’s hot, and really, there’s no reason as to why they shouldn’t be hot together.

A part of Jyn thinks he might feel the same way.

His eyes follow her, and that is part of the job, but she knows that he gets distracted at times. Yes, his eyes should be on her, but also her surroundings. He should be looking for potential threats, and he does. He has a pattern. Thirty seconds on her, then one minute glancing around… over and over and over…

But then sometimes, his eyes stay on hers, and their eyes lock. Jyn tries not to, but every time, her breath catches, and she bites her teeth into her lip, and he’s… his tongue dips out for a breath, and they’re both…

Then his eyes jerk away, back to their surroundings, and she tries to ignore how hot she feels, burning alive, really. He has to feel the same way as her, has to want her like she wants him.

Bodhi is fucking useless.

He’s the closest thing to a friend that Jyn has, so when she asks his opinion, about her fucking Cassian, about whether or not it would get them into trouble if they fucked, and really why does she care if Cassian gets into trouble? Bodhi just gives her a shrug. 

“He’s a federal agent, Jyn, and his job is literally to keep you safe. He obviously can’t date you, but it’s not like this is permanent. Of course, if your dad becomes president-”

“My dad is not becoming president, or vice president,” Jyn says with a glare.

“Okay, well, his job could be put on the line if you distract him. But at the same time, I know you. You won’t get attached.”

He was right. She wouldn’t. She wouldn’t get attached. And she really did need a good lay.

“I should go for it, right?”

Bodhi gives another shrug, moving around papers on his desk, and Cassian is outside the door right now, waiting to take her home, and how is this real.

“Fuck him. Don’t fuck him. Buy a new vibrator. I don’t know, Jyn. Just don’t come back until you’re less… tense.”

It’s solid logic… Maybe she will fuck him.

The vibrator idea isn’t a bad one, though.

 

* * *

  
  


It’s a Saturday, and Jyn can’t stay sitting around in her apartment any longer. She just can’t do it. Sure, she goes to class and work during the week, and she spends Sunday at her father’s house on the other side of the city, and she did go for a run with Cassian this morning, but she can’t look at her walls anymore. 

Maybe it’s her research, maybe it’s the fact that she has an agent outside of her house, maybe it’s the fact that she wants to fuck the brains out of Cassian Andor, who is just around the corner at the coffee shop  _ just in case _ , but whatever it is… Jyn can’t take it any longer. She has to get out of her apartment.

She could always slip out another way, maybe go downstairs, ask a neighbor on the back side of the building if she can climb out of their window, and she could be gone before the agent out front or Cassian even realize it… but she had tried that previously, and the look on his face when Cassian found her fifteen minutes later, absolutely distraught and panicking… well, she can’t do that to him.

Oh, she still hates that he’s here, hates that he’s so untouchable and so fucking beautiful, but it’s not his fault. With time, Jyn has realized that none of this is his fault. He didn’t choose this assignment. He didn’t threaten her. He didn’t decide she needed protection. This was just his job… which is why she actually gives him a call, as she heads to get in the shower.

He answers on the first ring.

“Are you alright?” he asks immediately, and she rolls her eyes. Jyn  _ never _ calls him, basically ever - he’s always right there when it’s time for her to go, like he knows her schedule better than she does, and she’s actually kind of boring in that aspect, just because she has kept up a routine since he has started following her, not wanting to spend any more time with him than was necessary, but he shouldn’t sound so panicked.

“I want to go out, have a few drinks. Somewhere nice. You should probably go get changed. I’ll be ready in an hour. If you’re not here, I’ll go without you.”

She can hear him packing up his stuff at the shop, and he has to run back to his place, wherever it is, and she gives him a moment before she finishes her statement.

“You can wear a suit… just no tie.”

It takes Jyn ten minutes before she realizes she pretty much just asked him on a date… except that he’s being paid to follow her around. It’s not a date, but maybe she wishes it was.

That’s how she ends up in her shower, with a vibrator, trying to work through this.

That’s the problem, she realizes. It’s not that she actually wants Cassian. He’s not even that attractive, not really. She’s just thinking about him, thinking about his body, thinking about him fucking the hell out of her, because she’s horny. Jyn can’t even remember the last time she had sex, let alone good sex, and the vibrator? Well, it’s new, because she has been too lazy to buy a new one after she broke the last one, and she has been too stressed from work to work one out, and-

She’s lying to herself. Lying horribly to herself. It’s all one huge lie, and she knows that she is in denial, but denial is just about the only tie to sanity that she has left.

She tries to think about anyone, anything other than him, but the second that Jyn’s eyes close, all she can see is dark hair, a curling smile, those short fingers working into her, his forearms tightening around her - 

She thinks about all the positions they could do, about him bending her over her desk, picking her up and pressing her into the wall, thinks about riding him as he’s laying on her kitchen floor, and that - that almost drives her over the edge, until she thinks about sliding off his cock, shifting forward, sitting on his face-

That does it, and in seconds, Jyn is cumming so hard, she nearly rips the shower curtain down from pulling on it so hard. Her knees go weak, and she rides her way through the whole thing before she tosses the vibrator out of the shower onto the bathroom floor. Actually getting clean is forgotten, because her whole body feels on fire, and she can’t even think.

Can’t think about anything except for Cassian.

Wasn’t masturbation a way to get rid of crazy thoughts? Wasn’t that what you were supposed to do before you called someone? Except, she already did call someone, and she’s running short on time before he gets here.

Jyn decidedly does  _ not _ think about him joining her in the shower, doesn’t think about him pressing against her back, doesn’t think about his mouth on her neck, doesn’t think about his arms curling around her stomach - 

She’s in denial, but she can live with that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I ended up splitting Ch 2 and Ch 3, but Ch 3 is already written and will be up in the next few days, probably. I'm trying to keep each chapter to about 2.5k words.
> 
> Sorry this took so long - I got stuck and then idk the fic bug bit me and here we are.
> 
> Idk when Hoth Smut will be up. Tonight? Tomorrow? Next Year? Who knows.


	3. Chapter 3

Jyn Erso has made a mistake. A big mistake. A  _ huge _ mistake.

When Cassian knocks at her door thirty minutes later, she has just finished pinning her hair up into a bun, and she’s still barefooted, but she lets him in all the same. Cassian doesn’t come into her apartment, ever, always waiting at the door, but she’s not quite ready, and her earlier thoughts about this being a date… she invites him in without thinking, because she can’t think, not when he looks like…  _ that _ .

Before, when he had shown up at her office, he had been wearing the typical agent attire, a black suit with a black tie and a white shirt, looking like he had a gun and a badge, and just needed a pair of sunglasses and an earpiece. Now, though…

Is there a runway in her apartment?

The pants somehow look tighter, as does the shirt, like this isn’t standard issue. Without the tie, without his jacket buttoned up all official, she can see the slight stretch to the fabric, pulling across his body. She wonders what he would look like with his sleeves rolled up, forearms exposed, and his hair isn’t… he didn’t shave today, which is normal since he has been undercover, but paired with the suit…

She promptly runs back into her bedroom, saying she’s almost ready, but the truth is, she has to look at herself in the mirror, make sure she hasn’t turned red, and that her tongue is still in place. Her vibrator is on the bathroom floor still, and she barely glances at it before looking in the mirror, hoping she looks somewhat together.

No, oh god, no, her entire chest is turning red, and her dress covers nothing, and her neck feels so hot… Jyn might actually die. She really might die. She considers changing out of her dress, and it’s something nice and cute and it’s weather appropriate, the sleeves long and off shoulder, the skirt coming just below her knees, and she feels good in it, but… every time she looks at him, her entire chest is going to turn bright red.

She has a huge problem, but there’s nothing she can do about it but put on her black heeled boots and grab her purse.

“Ready!” she says as she comes out of her bedroom, and Cassian is still lingering in the hallway, his back turned towards her. When he turns around, Jyn gives him a tight smile, almost like they’re friends, except they’re not… and the way that he looks at her, they are very much not friends. He’s looking at her like he wants to undress her, and he normally only ever sees her in pants and a button up, except when they’re running but she always runs in running pants and a sports bra and oversized tshirt, and now…

He’s looking at her like they are not friends, like he wants to be so much more, and that’s a huge problem because Jyn really wants to drink away her feelings right now, and then still bring him back to her apartment and fuck the hell out of him.

“You uhh… nice.”

It’s the most awkward thing she has ever heard anyone say, and she isn’t used to Cassian speaking all that much, tending to be the strong and silent type, but his mouth is wide open, and Jyn… she smiles a little, breathes in too hard through her nose, and heads towards the door.

“Yeah… umm…”

They’re both kind of paused, and then it’s like something clicks in his brain, because his eyes blink and he straightens up, almost like he’s shifting from one mode to another. Right, he couldn’t be leering at her, not when he was working, and she hates it, hates how suddenly his eyes are no longer on her, hates when he asks her where they are going, so that he can update the agent outside.

She tries to ignore how he pointedly ignores her, and instead orders an Uber for them, and she could make him ride with the other Agent that’s probably going to follow them, but she doesn’t really feel like speaking to him. If she speaks to him, she might tell him that  _ he _ looks good, might ask him how much he likes what he sees, she might - 

She might confess that she wants to climb into his lap, wants to ride him until neither of them can move, and that would be a huge fucking mistake that she doesn’t have time for.

 

* * *

 

They’re climbing out of the Uber when Cassian finally speaks, and Jyn barely even notices at first, because at the same time, his hand has gone to her lower back, pulling her closer to him as he leans forwards, his words murmuring into her ear.

“If I tell you that we need to go immediately, then you need to listen, stop what you are doing, and walk straight out the back door. There’s a car waiting for you just back there to take you to safety. You do not wait for me, you do not finish your drink, you do not even speak. If you do not do as you are told, it will put both of us and everyone around us in danger. Can you follow those rules?”

For all of five seconds, Jyn can’t breathe. She has never been the type of her to just lay down and take it, take anything, has always been the one in control, the one taking and giving, the one making the decisions, but right now, if Cassian told her to sink to her knees right there in the street, she might actually do it. Her knees feel weak, in fact, and then she feels his hand pressing into her back, waiting for an answer.

She manages to pull herself together just in time, rolling her eyes as she pulls backwards from him. “Sure, whatever, just as long as you pay my tab. Come on, Cassian. Nothing’s going to happen.”

For starters, this is entirely out of her routine. Well, not from her previous life routine - before all of this, this was the bar that Jyn would venture into, one of the few that wasn’t filled with staffers from Congress - it was typically all people from the graduate programs around DC. There was no tourists, there was no one that thought themselves better - just a bunch of twenty somethings with too much research, too many papers, and needing a night out that was easy.

But second of all, she’s not worried because there hasn’t been another threat. Just the one time, Orson said he would hurt her father where it mattered most… and that was it. She’s safe, she knows she is safe, but if Cassian wants to worry about it, well, that was literally his job.

Jyn was going to drink.

The problem with drinking with Cassian standing two feet away, though, is that no one ventures over to them. And by no one, she’s thinking no men. Of course not - Cassian is two steps away, standing behind her bar stool, one hand casually on it, like he’s her boyfriend. He’s not, of course, because if he was, she wouldn’t be so desperate for someone else to come talk to her, to take her mind off of him.

So instead, Jyn drinks.

She drinks a glass of wine, and then a second, and has a third poured before she realizes that Cassian isn’t actually drinking the beer in his hand. She glances back at him for the first time in a while and sees that his eyes are scanning the room once more - for a brief moment, she wonders if he had been looking over her shoulder, had glanced down her top, and she’s saddened when she realizes that she doesn’t have enough cleavage for it to show much of anything. The beer in his hand is missing three sips, so he’s probably sticking out because they’ve been there over thirty minutes, but whatever.

She has a drink in her hand, and that’s… that’s good enough for her.

Except she feels lonely, sitting at a bar, all alone, with only Cassian, the object of her fantasies, sitting behind her.

Pulling out her phone, Jyn texts Bodhi, because that makes the best sense. He responds immediately, and when Jyn tells him where she is, tells him to come out, he confesses that he might just be at Luke’s place…

Traitor. Getting laid when she can’t.

Jyn wishes him the best, and then drains the rest of her glass before turning back to Cassian.

“If you’re not going to drink that, I’m ready to go,” she says, annoyance clear on her face. This was a waste of time, because now she’s just mildly buzzed, and feeling utterly lonely. She can have a bigger glass of wine than this back at her apartment, and can probably have another orgasm or two, pretending that it’s Cassian pinning her down, telling her what to do, and punishing her when she disobeys…

Yeah, that sounds better than sitting here alone.

“You’re sure?” he asks, surprise on his face. 

She lets out a sigh and nods, running her hand over her hair, smoothing out the pieces that had escaped her bun. “Yeah, somehow this seemed like a good idea, but now I just feel pathetic, sitting at a bar alone, drinking ten dollar glasses of wine when I could just drink at my apartment, still alone, in clothes that are far more comfortable.”

Cassian looks ready to say something, and she wants to push him to speak, but she knows him - if he wants to say something, then he will, and no prodding or prompting will change it. He’s looking at her, though, like he’s aching to say it - she’s just about to prompt him when he suddenly takes a swig of his beer, and she wants to ask, because he’s on duty, but she doesn’t, just waits as he swallows, as he looks down at her again, his tongue running over his bottom lip before he speaks.

“You’re not drinking alone, Jyn… and while you certainly look different from normal, you should have someone tell you, you look beautiful tonight.”

Jyn is so frozen in that moment that she can’t even respond. Maybe… maybe they should go back to her place, maybe she should invite him in, peel him out of his jacket, take off her shoes… pour them a glass of wine…

She knows that he wants her, because if he doesn’t, then she has made this all up in her head, and Jyn is so deep in denial about her own feelings, she can’t even possibly accept that she might be imagining that he wants her as well. He wants her, as badly as she needs him.

Why not? Why not do this?

She’s about to invite him back to her place when his posture changes, and he’s standing straight up. His hand goes to his ear, and she knows his earpiece is there, hidden under his hair, and then he’s looking at her, grabbing her hand.

“Jyn, you need to go. Go now.”

For all of two seconds, Jyn pauses, because she can’t even believe the words she just heard. She doesn’t  _ not _ believe him, but she can’t believe there’s actually a threat against her. Part of her hopes that it’s just something mistaken, maybe the Agent outside was being overly cautious, but a part of her is suddenly scared for Cassian. He’s here, with her, because she wanted to get out. Jyn can handle herself, but Cassian? How long has he been on the job? Does he even have a gun on him? Is his life in danger as well?

His hand is on hers, and she doesn’t let go as she stands up from her seat. He holds on just as tight as they both head towards the back door, and she can pay her tab later, but if there’s a threat against her, then everyone in this bar is in danger. 

It’s a long hallway past the bathrooms, and then Jyn sees the emergency exit. Cassian’s hand is tight in hers as she leads the way, and she feels him letting go, pushes on the door and turns just in time to see that he’s drawing his gun from behind his back, a holster strapped above his waist band, and he’s pointing it towards where they had come from, free hand pressed to his ear to tell the agents outside that she’s on her way out.

But it’s not the agents, not the car, that are waiting for her.

Jyn immediately ducks as an arm swings out, her leg swinging out quickly to knock the assailant on his ass. They’re definitely not one of the agents, whoever it is, because there’s no suit, no car, and she actually recognizes him - he’s one of Krennic’s henchmen, dressed in a white shirt, and she always thought they were weird, all of them dressed in either white or black, but never a suit, but now, it makes it easy for her to know who’s side they are on.

She kicks the asshole in the stomach, and then sees another hand coming towards her, reaching out to grab her by her hair. She spins easily, knee coming up to hit him where it hurts, and then she grabs the gun that he is pulling out, directing the end of it away from her and towards the sky, then hitting his arm with her free hand, forcing it backwards until she feels a break. He gets a knee to the nose, and then there’s two more.

She doesn’t want to shoot the gun that’s in her hand, because that can kill, and dead men can’t answer questioning, but she shoots anyways, shoots the third man in the leg, and he goes down hard. She kicks him in the face as well, then stomps down on his hand, probably breaking a few fingers. He can’t shoot if his fingers are broken.

The last one is already turning to run, and she sees the van he is heading towards, blocking the end of the alley. It can probably still crash into anything to get out, but is keeping anyone from getting in.

Where was the agents? How did anyone know where she was? Was this planned.

She’s faster than the last asshole, though, and in two seconds, Jyn has his arm, is spinning him and slamming him into the wall. She can almost feel teeth break, and she is smaller, but she has spent her entire life fighting to take care of herself, knows every level of self defense, and she doesn’t have time for this bullshit. In seconds, she has the last one on the ground, curled in the fetal position, and she reaches down to grab his gun.

Looking up as she straightens, a gun in each hand, Jyn turns towards the door to see Cassian, eyes wide, mouth wide open, his hands dropped, still holding his gun. He’s looking at her like he’s seeing her for the first time, and she’s not really sure what to say, how to respond, until she hears someone come running up behind her.

Turning, Jyn points the gun, only to see it’s one of the agents that is supposed to be protecting her. He must have climbed over the van, looking for them, and she lowers the weapon.

“You’re late,” she says, and she kicks the last asshole again before emptying both guns of any bullets. She hasn’t checked them all for weapons, but that has worn her out, and she’s ready for a nap. “I’m going home. There’s a security camera on the back of the building. Next time I get attacked, try to be on time.”

She turns back towards Cassian, who is still frozen, and rolls her eyes. “Are you coming?”

 

* * *

 

The answer is  _ yes _ .

Cassian can’t move, can’t breathe, all he can do is stare. 

He had been told, that Jyn could take care of herself, but it hadn’t really been explained to him in what way. He knew that she wasn’t someone to mess with, knew that she worked out, that she thought she could take care of herself, but watching that…

Before tonight, Cassian could freely admit to himself that he had a crush. She was beautiful, charming, had a quick wit and a dry humor, she loved her father, was brilliant, was - she was nothing of what he normally thought. The longer they spent together, the more he bit his tongue, because this had to be just a job. Every time she spoke, every time she looked at him, he lost a little bit more of his control, but until tonight, he had managed to keep it somewhat together.

Having her invite him out? He knew she would go without him, but dictating his attire? He had selfishly gone for the shirt that almost didn’t fit, pants that were tighter than standard, had even gone for his back holster in favor of a tighter jacket, and why? So that maybe her eyes would linger on him? He couldn’t do anything about it, about how he wanted her.

She was only studying him because he was studying her, and he knew that, knew that she wouldn’t… that she was annoyed of his presence, hated him on principle. But seeing her in that dress… he hadn’t been able to stop himself, had spent the entire time she was getting finished trying to remember to breathe.

He almost asked another agent to take his place, but Jyn had  _ invited _ him, and there was a selfish part of him that… that hoped it meant something more than it did.

The problem is, once they’re at the bar, Cassian can’t look at Jyn. No, instead he looks at everyone around them both waiting for a threat, and looking at every set of eyes on them. He’s vain enough to think that they make an attractive looking couple, but it’s confirmed, because lots of people are looking their way… which means that he’s not sure if anyone is a threat, or if they’re just curious.

It’s an agonizing time, standing in silence, hoping that Jyn turns to look at him, but then she does, and he almost loses his mind when she says she’s alone, and all he can think is fuck it and take a drink of his beer, because she should know… she should know how breathtaking she is in everything, how badly he wants her, and how she’s not alone. He knows she has friends, but they seem to be few and far between, and she hasn’t seen any of them since he began protecting her.

She’s lonely, and probably buzzed, and maybe vulnerable, and he’s selfish to call her beautiful, to say that she’s not alone, but he can’t help it, because she’s the most beautiful person he has ever met, and she doesn’t have to be alone… 

He hopes the threat on her never ends because he’s not sure what he would do if he had to leave her side.

That changes two seconds later, when he hears that there’s a suspicious van that keeps driving by, that they have guns, that three of them got out, and are heading towards the front door of the bar.

He sends her out the back, grabbing her hand, and he doesn’t let go. If he can just get Jyn out of here, he’ll shoot anyone that comes after her. He’s not scared for himself, isn’t scared to use his gun, but he’s scared for Jyn. She’s just an academic, and she can run, is at least wearing shoes she can run in, but that doesn’t protect her from a bullet.

At least she’s safe out the back door, and he can stay behind, can watch their backs.

That all changes when he hears a groan behind him, the sound of a fist meeting bone, of someone getting kicked in the gut, and he turns around to see Jyn…

Well, he’s not sure how to describe it, but it’s unbelievable.

She had said she could take care of herself, but for the first time in his life, Cassian is wondering what he’s even good for. She clearly doesn’t need him, doesn’t need anyone, and he’s just lucky enough to watch, to watch her shoot a guy in the leg, to watch her break a man’s teeth, to watch her break bone and throw down four attackers in a row.

He wants to offer to step in, but really… she doesn’t need any help. She’s not killing them, is subduing them all, and in seconds, his gun has dropped, and all he can do is watch.

What the fuck is he even doing here?

He’s still frozen as she drops the last guy, and finally, the lead agent shows up. He hears through his comms what happens - they were rammed off the road by the van before the van blocked the alleyway, that the driver is trapped in the car, that at least his support was able to come running.

The cops are on the way, but Jyn looks ready to go home, and he has to get her out of here, before anyone else shows up to take her. The cops can take their statement at her place, but first priority is to secure Jyn, to call in backup, to get another car outside of her place. He’ll have to stay the night, just in case, to make certain she’s mentally alright.

And her father, he needs to call her father.

The only problem is, while Cassian tries to think through what he needs to do, what protocol is, he’s also thinking about what he wants.

Like what he wants his her hands on him, and he can see that they’re a little bruised, one of the knuckles split, can see that there’s blood on them, and he wants to kiss them, wants her hands in his hair, wants to run his hands over her. He wants her to fight him like that, wants to spar with her, wants her to kick his ass, pin him down onto the mat.

He wants to kiss her like she fights, kiss her like it’s a battle, like they’re both fighting to survive, and he wants to fuck her into the wall right there, her dress hitched up around her waist. He wants - 

He wants to ask her where the hell she learned those moves, and then he wants to worship the very ground she walks on.

He’s so fucked, it’s unbelievable.

“What the hell am I even doing here?” he finally asks, and Jyn raises an eyebrow as she pulls out her phone from her purse, and  _ she still has her purse over her shoulder _ like she didn’t just nearly kill four guys, and she’s pulling out her phone, looking to order an Uber.

That’s not protocol, but their car is destroyed, and an Uber will probably be faster.

“Oh Cassian, you’re just here to be a pretty face. You’re the distraction. Like I told you… I can take care of myself.”

He’s so beyond fucked, his heart leaping out of his chest, Cassian thinks he can actually see her tucking it into her bag, like she knows she owns his soul… and Cassian finds that he doesn’t really mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ch 4 is a big one and it's half done but I haven't decided what they're doing next so... hope to have it up Saturday but we'll see!


	4. Chapter 4

Jyn’s back hits the wall so hard, she can hear pictures shaking, but she’s a little too distracted to care, because Cassian’s mouth is on her neck, his hand is up her dress, fingers digging into her ass, and she has her hand down the back of his shirt, nails digging into the skin she can reach. His teeth are biting into her throat, probably leaving a mark, but it has Jyn arching her back, pressing her shoulders into the wall so that she can gain a little friction against her slit. She can feel the front of his belt buckle right there, but it’s not quite enough to get her off, especially with her underwear in the way.

They still haven’t talked about what happened, had barely even said two words the entire ride back to her apartment, and she hadn’t brushed him off when he came around to her side of the car, had opened it, offered her a hand… Jyn had taken it, and then his hand went to her lower back as he escorted her in.

Somewhere in the back of her mind, Jyn had known that this was what he was supposed to do, keep her close, keep her safe, but the way his hand is sliding down her back as he leads her up the stairs, as he takes her down the hall to her place… it’s like gravity is winning against this fight he’s in.

She knows it’s a risk, knows that it’s the adrenaline pumping in her veins, but Cassian hasn’t stopped staring at her in open wonder even since the fight outside of the bar, so she’s going for it. It’s a calculated risk - she can blame it on the fight, or the alcohol, or something… but this is a very conscious decision. She wants him, she thinks that he wants her, and if he pushes her away…

Except that when Jyn pushes open the door to her apartment and takes two steps in, she feels Cassian’s hand, slipping around to her waist, and then his fingers curl - it’s like he wants to pull her back, and then he releases her-

She doesn’t wait until the door is even closed before Jyn turns, grabbing him by the front of his shirt, and tugging him to her.

The kiss is hot, open mouthed, and probably the filthiest thing she has done with her mouth in years, but his hands go straight to her hips, tugging her close. Her fingers move into his hair, tugging him closer, and when they finally come up for air, he half jerks away from her, half of his body, at least, turning towards the door to shut it, to lock all three locks, then turn back to her.

His hair is a mess and his eyes are wild, but she wants to kiss him again, and nothing is going to stop her.

“You’ve had three glasses of wine,” he says, and she knows he’s probably trying to give her an out… or he’s worried about taking advantage.

“They were tiny, that was almost an hour ago, and I just beat the hell out of four guys in an alley. You think I don’t know what I’m doing? Blame it on the adrenaline, sure, but I’m not drunk.”

He moves back to her in an instant, his hand going around her back to tug her closer, but he’s looking down at her with big eyes, trying to read hers, like he’s almost scared to ask something, like he doesn’t want to know the answer, in case this disappears.

“How long? Is it the adrenaline?”

She considers lying, considers saying something else, anything else… but he needs to hear the truth, deserves it, because she’s about to use him like a sex toy, and she expects him to not go easy on her.

“I wanted you the second I saw you. I hate this suit - you look too good in it. I was… Cassian there’s a vibrator on my bathroom floor from me thinking about you before I-”

She can’t even finish her statement, Cassian’s hands going down to lift her up, and she wraps her legs around his waist, skirt hiking up higher. That’s when her back hits the wall, and she can’t even think, can’t even breathe, the words just falling out of her.

“I thought about - my office, my desk, right here, over the couch, on the - fuck, Cassian, when you told me what to do before we went into the bar, I-”

“Is that what you like,” he asks, and his teeth are clench, his nose pressing at her pulse point, and she shakes her head, trying to ignore the shiver running down her spine from his gruff voice.

“Fuck no. I’m in charge. I’m always in charge. I take what I want because I know how I like it…”

His mouth is on hers again and their tongues are pressing together, both of them fighting for dominance, and eventually, they both pull away for air.

“I don’t just lay down and take it,” he hisses, and his hips press her hard into the wall, both of his hands moving to find hers, her body only still up from the way his cock is pressing against her, and she can feel how hard he is, how turned on. His fingers wrap around her wrists and he presses them into the wall, but he doesn’t move forward anymore, waiting for a reaction.

“Well neither do I,” she says, and she waits, doesn’t pull away, just waits.

“So then what do we do?” he asks, and his voice is softer, his mouth going to her jaw… he’s gentle, now, pressing soft kisses back towards her ear. She’s ready to respond when his lips catch her ear lobe, and he sucks it between his teeth, lapping at it with his tongue. She imagines him doing that to her clit, and she almost loses her mind right then and there.

She can’t respond until he lets go, pulling away to look down at her. Her tongue flicks over her lips, and his eyes watch, but he doesn’t move, just waiting for her answer.

“I guess we come up with a safe word and then try to break my bed?”

She means it as a joke, honestly, but if they broke her bed, she really wouldn’t care… and they probably don’t need a safe word, but given that they both like to be in control, it’s probably the best idea.

He raises an eyebrow slightly, and his hands loosen on her wrists, enough that she could easily push him away or pull away, but she doesn’t. Not yet.

“We should probably talk about this,” he says, and Jyn rolls her eyes. Talking is the last thing they need to do.

“I want for you to fuck me into the mattress and make me cum so hard, I can’t walk tomorrow. Feel free to rip my clothing off of me. Oh, and your mouth-” She does pull her hand from his hold, then, and moves her hand to grab his chin. His lips part, and he ducks down to grab her thumb, teeth catching it for a second before letting go, and she runs her thumb over his lips, watching it, watching how his eyes close slowly. “I would really love to ride your face.”

His hold on her other wrist slipped slipped down so fast that she thought he was pulling away, but instead, his fingers were running down to her hair. It had half fallen from the bun during the fight, and his fingers were easily finding the pins, tugging them out, until her hair fell down, and his fingers curled into it.

“We really should talk about what happens after,” he says, and she knows what he’s talking about - are they going to talk about this later? Is this a thing? Does he maybe… does he maybe feel more than just lust?

“We can talk about it after,” she whispers, and her lips press together for a moment. “Stay the night, fuck me in the morning, and then I’m sure I’ll have to go give a statement. We can figure it out somewhere after that.”

The moment is frozen, and then she can feel his hips shift, can feel him trying to resituate them for a moment.

“Cassian?”

He nods blinking for a moment, and then Jyn grins - he’s thinking about it. Thinking about fucking her. He’s about to, and she wants to laugh at how out of it he looks, for the first time ever, looking distracted. He wants her, and now he’s about to have her.

“Mmm?”

Jyn leans forward, her hand moving from his jaw to his throat, and she presses her lips to his ear, voice a hum. “You should probably fuck me now.”

She feels his mouth against her throat, and then it starts moving, sucking at her skin, shifting lower down to her collarbone. He keeps going, his face pressing between her breasts, until he can go no lower, her dress in the way. Jyn thinks that he might pull it off of her, carry her off to her room, but instead, and honestly she’s shocked that he has the strength to do this, his hands go to her legs, and he lifts her upwards as he goes down onto his knees.

In seconds, the skirt of her dress is in his face, but her knees are going over his shoulders, and she scrambles, pulling at her dress, pulling it up around her waist, exposing to him her underwear, something lacy thank god, and he lets out a groan into the inside of her thigh.

“I’m impressed you could do that,” she teases, and he’s getting himself situated on his knees, pressing her into the wall, moving closer into her himself. One hand goes to the wall, and the other to the front of his pants… she wants to ask, to offer, but she wants to know what he’s doing. What he plans to do with her.

The answer is easy - he’s going to eat her out. She had suspected it, of course, but the second that Cassian starts licking his lips… Her underwear is in the way, but he doesn’t care. His teeth grab onto it, tugging it a little to the side, and then his nose is pressing between her folds in search of her clit. In seconds, Jyn is arching back against the wall, hands going to his hair.

“Fucking fuck,” she gasps, and there is a muffled response, but Cassian has her clit between his teeth, and seems to have no interest in pausing. Her fingers search for a good grip, and in seconds, his hair is standing on end, being pulled upwards.

When his tongue starts lapping at her clit, that is when she finally pulls, pulling him closer, pulling his hair so hard she is sure it must hurt-

It hurt her, because he pulls away from what he is doing, and she hates him for it.

“Stop that, or else I’m going to bend you over, spank you, and then tie you down onto the bed.”

His words sound teasing, but the look in his eye says that that is definitely all on the table, up for an offering, if she was interested in it.

Jyn has never been one for being submissive, never been one to be tied down or kept from expressing herself… but the thought of him trying to subdue her, the thought of him trying to overpower her… she could feel herself dripping down her legs, and fuck, she wants that so badly.

“You think you can pin me down and make me take it?” she asks with a raise of her eyebrow. It’s a challenge, and Cassian shifts underneath her, almost straightening up. “I’d love for you to try.”

She is up and over his shoulder in seconds, both legs together as he carries her down into the living room. There is only one way to go, her bedroom, and he pushes the door open, striding in like he knows where to go. Her back hits the bed in seconds, and she is ready for him, ready for him to throw himself on her, and he does, but not as expected.

“Sit up,” he commands, and she does as told for the first time in her life, partially because she wants to know what he plans to do, and partially because… she doesn’t know, but she likes the way his voice sounds when he tells her what to do.

She pushes herself up onto the edge of the bed, and then he is on his knees in front of her, again. Jyn has to admit that she loves that picture, particularly with his lips and nose wet from her slick, and his hair destroyed by her hands. His hands go to her feet, and in seconds, he is pulling her boots off, setting them behind him.

His hands move back to her legs, and they slide upwards, up under the hem of her dress, up until Jyn has to lean back onto her forearms, lifting her hips so that he can slide her underwear down. In what could only be the most filthy move imaginable, he lifts them to his nose and takes a deep breath, then slips them into the front pocket of his jacket, like they are a handkerchief.

“Fuck,” she mutters, and he grins as he looks up at her. “I rather like you down there.”

His hands go back to her hips, and in seconds, she is tugged to the edge of the bed, and then off, sitting down in his lap. Her eyes blink, and then his hands go to the zipper behind her, tugging it down, down until the sleeves are sliding down, and he is revealing her bra.

Normally, Jyn would be the one undressing herself undressing her partner, telling them all the filthy things she was about to do… but right now, he is in his element, and Jyn loves to watch.

The dress pools around her hips, and his attention moves to her breasts, squeezing and molding them in his hands. Her teeth catch her bottom lip, and his gaze shifts up quickly, staring at them. His movements pause as he just looks at her lips, and they quickly curve into a grin.

“Sometime today would be nice,” she teases.

Her bra is tossed aside as easily as he unhooks it, and then he is lifting her back onto the bed, her dress left behind in his lap as her legs straighten. Jyn blinks, and she is entirely naked, with Cassian still wearing his suit.

She really fucking loves that.

“On your knees,” he orders, and Jyn… she thought about saying no, but instead, does as she is told, shifting up onto her knees on the bed. His gaze moves over her, and she lifts her chin, letting him look. She is entirely unashamed of her body, toned and defined, strong, but soft around her hips, like she wants him to grab her there, and she does. His hands hover, almost like he wants to touch, but can’t, and she wishes he would try to ruin her, so that she can take control.

“Are you going to be a good girl?” he asks, and his accent is thicker than it had ever been before, particularly when his breath caught as his thumb grazed over her bottom lip. Jyn had caught the digit between her teeth, and now she grins as she releases him.

“No.”

Cassian lunges forward, grabbing her hips, but Jyn is ready, using his momentum to roll them over. He seems surprised by it, because in two seconds, Jyn is straddling Cassian’s lap, and both of his hands are above his head.

“What’s your safeword?” she asks with a tease, and his back shifts a little on the bed.

“I’m still wearing my gun,” he curses, and Jyn laughs. She shouldn’t, because she knows gun safety, but it is still insanely attractive, that he has a gun, knows how to use it.

“Be a good boy, and I might just let you take it off.”

Her body shifts upwards until she is on his chest, and Cassian? If she had thought he was turned on before, his eyes are wild now. His body bucks under her, and while he is stronger, Jyn is faster, her hand moving to grab where it hurts, ready to squeeze and push him back down. Cassian goes still, perfectly still, as Jyn releases him, and then, she slides until she is hovering almost over his mouth.

“What’s your safeword?” she asks again, her voice softer.

His tongue is running over his lips, and she knows where his gaze is, on her exposed cunt, right there, so close for him to taste. His hands go to the inside of her thighs, and Jyn grabs his forearms, moving them until her knees are on either side, effectively pinning him.

“No safeword. Take what you want,” his voice is thick, and Jyn loves the sound of that… they really will have to discuss this later, discuss all their kinks, but right now, she wants his tongue on her clit, and really, she isn’t going to wait any longer.

By the time Cassian is finally able to take off his gun holster, and the rest of his clothing, Jyn has had two orgasms on his tongue, and one on his fingers, the last one coming after he had finally flipped her, rolling her onto her back. She hadn’t fought back, her body boneless as he had pulled her legs over his shoulders, a forearm over her belly, and she had just watched him, her body singing for him in a few easy minutes.

She watches him now, watches as he stands at the foot of the bed, his eyes locked on her. The jacket, with her underwear still tucked inside, is tossed over her dressed. Next, the holster, and fuck that looks so good on him, and she loves how he disassembles it easily, setting the pieces on the dresser as well. Next, his shirt, and he takes the time to unbutton each one diligently. He doesn’t take it off, though, leaves it on as he unhooks his belt, toes off his shoes, and then he’s pushing down his pants, kicking off his socks, and dropping the shirt.

Cassian is left in just his boxer briefs, and Jyn is watching, body practically purring, her eyes shifting over and over again, always returning to the bulge at the very front.

She wants to taste it, and while Jyn is always happy to give oral, particularly after receiving it, it’s so much more than that. She wants to feel the weight of him in her throat, wants his hands in her hair, wants him to fuck her mouth until he says every filthy thing in his dictionary, wants to taste his cum, and fuck, she’s pinching her legs together now, trying to not think about how much she wants him.

His hands go to her feet as he climbs back up onto the bed, and then he’s sliding up the bed, his body settling over hers. He isn’t naked, but that doesn’t seem to matter, because he’s kissing her, and Jyn is lost, lost in the moment, feeling the weight of his body over hers, feeling how his hand goes into her hair, how he kisses like he missed her, like he can’t stop himself.

They haven’t kissed since they had first walked in the room, and she responds immediately, lips parting, her hands going to his back. His skin is smooth and warm, and her fingers press into his shoulder blades, trying to pull him closer.

Her foot moves to his backside, and she wants to grab his ass, but it’s impossible with her arms over his shoulders. Instead, her toe grabs the edge of his underwear, and she’s tugging them down, tugging them as best she can, until they’re halfway down his ass. She can feel his cock, ready to break free, and his lips pull from hers as he shifts upwards onto his knees, pushing them down the rest of the way, lifting one leg and then the other to get them off.

“Condom?” he asks, and his voice is practically pleading. Jyn just grins, rolling over to the bedside table and grabbing one. She thinks about staying like this, on her stomach, letting him fuck her until they both see stars, but his hands are on her hips, rolling her back over, and then grabbing the condom.

She says nothing as he slides it on, just watches as he rolls it into place, and then looks down at her.

She should say something, could easily pin him back down onto the bed, could ride him, or roll over and let him fuck her… but then his hand is on her knee, wrapping her leg around his waist, and she doesn’t stop him. Jyn can’t remember the last time she had sex in this position, but this doesn’t feel boring or vanilla, not when his eyes are locked with hers as he presses inside, filling her up, stretching her open.

Her lips part in response, a silent gasp escaping her, and then Cassian follows, his groan audible. They’re both frozen for a long moment, and then his hand shifts up her leg, pulling her closer, his body still upright as he starts to fuck her.

He’s slow, so slow, and almost gentle, but it’s not that. What he’s showing her, this isn’t something gentle, this is him treasuring her, like he’s scared she might disappear if he goes too fast. He’s taking his time, worshiping her with his eyes, with how his other hand finds hers, squeezes it before he grabs her other leg, lifting it up over his shoulder.

The worst part is, Jyn likes it. She likes how he’s taking his time, how he’s not in a rush, how he’s rolling his body into hers, and she feels her eyes close for a moment, the intimacy of it almost becoming too much.

“Look at me,” he murmurs, and it’s not a command, it’s a plea, and she forces her eyes open, forces herself to look at him, for their eyes to lock as he keeps doing. Every thrust makes her body arch up, and she feels his hand moving from the leg around his waist to in between them, his fingers finding her sensitive bud.

He seems to know her, know what she likes and needs, because his fingers thrum at her clit, working it in time with his thrusts, and she forces her eyes to stay open, to stay with his as she cums, her mouth opening and a scream escaping. It comes out more in gasps than anything else, and a few seconds later, his body stiffens, a groan and a shudder washing over him as he joins her, filling the condom.

They’re both absolutely silent, save for sucking in a few breaths, until his hands move her legs back to the bed, and he pulls out of her, his hand going to his cock, grabbing the condom.

She misses him the second he’s no longer touching her, and she fucking hates it, but Jyn knows how to fix it. She can analyze her feelings, his actions, their decisions, all of it, all in the morning, but right now, she wants his body close to hers, wants him to stay by her side.

He has a condom in his hand, though, and she needs to use the bathroom… the easiest solution is to just follow him, to make sure he doesn’t get lost on the way back.

“Over here,” she finally says, and Jyn forces herself to climb off the bed, her legs feeling weak. Cassian grabs her arm to keep her from stumbling, and he climbs off the bed with her, following as she leads him to the bathroom. Along the way, his hand had slid down her arm until they were holding hands, and she flicks on the light as she steps in, blinking at what she sees on the floor in front of her.

Right. Jyn had forgotten about that.

“You were serious about the vibrator,” he mutters, and Jyn has to laugh, because yeah, she had been serious about that. Looking over her shoulder, she saw him grinning, and she gave a nod.

“Go ahead and get cleaned up. I’ll go after, and I expect to find my bed warm when I come out.”

His look says so much she doesn’t even want to try to analyze, but he gives a nod, disposing of the condom and washing his hands. She watches him walk away, and damn does he look good, his ass right there, his back covered in marks from her fingers and nails, and she… she wants to pull him back, to kiss him long and slow.

Jyn ignores that and instead cleans herself up, and tosses her vibrator into a drawer, before walking back into her bedroom. Cassian had done as told, somewhat, climbing into the bed, but he looks unsure of which side to sit on, instead sitting in the middle, the blankets kind of pushed down around him.

She tries to keep it casual, tries to make it look easy, but inside, she’s kind of… flipping out. Jyn knew better than to sleep with him, knew that it could risk his career, knew that she barely knew him, but something about Cassian Andor… he called to her. Maybe that was why she had been so difficult at first, maybe that was why she had kept him away. It wasn’t just sexual.

There is no way she can call this just sexual when his eyes light up as she walks into the room and climbs onto the bed, taking the right side, where her clock and phone plug are, and rolling over to pull him closer in the bed, so that he is also on her side.

There is no way she can deny that she had feelings for him, and fuck, she hates that thought, because someone had just tried to kidnap her, and he is risking his career, and Bodhi would be insufferable, and they have to talk about this, but -

It’s Friday night. She can deal with her thoughts and feelings and emotions on Monday. For the next two days, Jyn is going to live in a bubble, so long as Cassian wants to stay.

 

* * *

  


Waking up the next morning is a complete and total shock to the system, because he isn’t in his apartment, this is Jyn Erso’s bed, and she is currently climbing out of it, wearing absolutely nothing. He had barely had a few mouthfuls of beer the night before, so he can’t blame this on the alcohol, but he can blame it on that fight… That fucking fight that still has his heart racing.

He had slept with Jyn.

Cassian had already done it a few dozen times in his dreams, but the previous evening hadn’t been a dream. It was real. He had really slept with Jyn. He had had sex with Jyn, and she had been just as stubborn, just as head strong, just as demanding as he imagined… until he sunk into her, and her body had sung for him.

He would never forget the look on her face as she came on his cock for as long as he lived. He was made to worship her, to caress and kiss and touch every inch of her body, to make her scream over and over again, and if he ever got to touch her again, he would consider all of his luck dried up.

Watching her walk to the bathroom… he considers getting up, getting dressed, trying to keep from embarrassing her… except he doesn’t want her to think that he didn’t want to stay. Should he leave? Stay? Should he pretend to be asleep still? Wait for her to kick him out?

He doesn’t seem to have a choice, because a few minutes later, Jyn is coming back into the bedroom, her hair pulled over one shoulder, and her eyes very much awake. She is still naked, so beautifully naked, and he wants to explore her again in the daylight, now that it is coming in through the windows.

He expects her to say something, but instead, she pulls the curtains open, bringing in sunlight, then climbs back into the bed. Her body stretches out along his, and he can’t pretend to be asleep, not when her nose brushes his, and he gives in to kissing her.

Jyn rolls him onto his back, and he goes with it, pulling her with him, one arm lazily going over her waist. Her body presses into his, one of her legs going between his own, and they make out, slowly, his body waking up to hers. He doesn’t know what time it was, doesn’t know what they have to do today, doesn’t even know if he still had a job… but he isn’t going to stop kissing her, not until she comes up for air.

“Mmmm, we’re not going running today,” she murmurs against his lips, and he almost asks what she was talking about, when he remembers that normally, every morning, they go for a run…

“Have other plans for cardio?” he asks with a tease.

Jyn laughs against his lips, and then shifts her body onto his more, straddling his lap. He tries to ignore how quickly his body responds, but Jyn is grinding herself over his hard cock, and fuck if he doesn’t want to just buck up into her already.

“I have a few ideas… and I don’t think I want to run tomorrow either.”

It doesn’t take a genius to figure out what she means… She wants him to stay not just today, but tonight as well.

“Well, as long as you have a few ideas,” he murmurs, and his hands move to her hips, rocking her on his cock, his length flat against her slit. He wants into her, now, but he needs a condom, has morning breath, he wants to - he wants to kiss her more, kiss her hello and good morning and please let me stay.

“Mmmm, you’re not going anywhere until I say so,” she adds on, and Jyn leans over just enough that he can see her digging into the drawer, grabbing out a condom. At least she is keeping a clear head, because he is close to losing it.

In seconds, Jyn has the wrap rolled down onto him, and is shifting forward so that she can sink onto him. All he can do is groan, back arching, trying to get deeper, and fuck she is so far onto him, hot and wet and tight and the way she is arching her back… Jyn looks like a piece of art.

He’s fucking done for, job probably gone, but it’s all worth it, because right now, he knows that Jyn is safe, knows that Jyn wants him to stay, and knows that he’s never felt so fucking good in his entire life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry - I meant to have this up sooner but life went crazy. I actually finished this ON THE PLANE but the internet at my parent's house is utter shit. That stated, utter shit internet means writing without distraction?
> 
> I haven't started on the next chapter but it's a little shorter and moves our timeline forward so I'm not stressing.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is there a rating higher than E? This is higher than E.

They end up staying in bed until Jyn gets a phone call, and she tells him to stay right there, a smirk on her lips, as she casually picks up his shirt, slinging it over her arms and up onto her body, before leaving the room. Her voice is soft and hushed, and he hears her fussing with the coffee pot, and Cassian is - fuck, he’s fucking fucked. 

Watching Jyn in his shirt, it shouldn’t be so damned attractive, shouldn’t be such a turn on, but they’ve already fucked three times in the past twelve hours, and he’s ready to go again. It might actually cause him physical pain to try for it again, but given the fact that he’s pretty sure that that phone call is about to end his career, he doesn’t find himself able to care.

He slept with Jyn Erso, probably the only person in the world he isn’t allowed to touch… he didn’t even feel bad. That was probably the worst part. And the way she looked back at him? That mouth, he fucking loved her mouth, loved how it kissed him, loved how she caught his fingers, how she said the filthiest things, loved - 

He fucking loves her, and there’s literally nothing he can do about it except fall back into her bed, the blankets pushed down around his waist, waiting for her to come back.

She’s silent in the other room, and then there’s soft words again, a clinking noise, and then silence once more. He can’t decide if that’s a good or a bad thing, but she hasn’t thrown him out yet. He’s not sure how he’ll be able to move once she sends him away, both emotionally and physically, so he has to hope he’s allowed to stay at least long enough to gather his thoughts and find his legs again.

When Jyn returns, her phone isn’t with her, and she has a cup in each hand, filled with coffee. Cassian forces himself to sit up, reaching out to take the mug, and takes a sip - it’s sweet, just how he takes it, no milk, but with an ice cube so that it’s cool enough to touch. Exactly how he takes it. He hadn’t realized she had noticed.

“Everything good?” he asks, and he doesn’t really want the answer… except that Jyn then carefully climbs back into bed with him, turning her head, and pressing her lips to his. She’s kissing him again, and that has to be a good thing, and he kisses her back, can taste the cream on her tongue, and he almost spills his coffee, so lost in the kiss.

When she finally pulls away, Jyn takes a sip of her coffee, and his eyes drift down, noting that she buttoned some of the buttons on his shirt, just barely hiding her breasts, but giving him a great view of her cleavage. He wants to peal it off of her, wants - he wants to see her wearing all his clothes. He would spend the rest of his life naked if he just got to watch her wearing his things.

“All good. My father wanted to make sure I was alright. I told him that I kicked their asses. There was a full security feed, so I don’t have to answer any questions. They’re working on tying it to Krennic. He said to tell you thank you for taking care of me.”

Cassian chokes on his coffee, wondering just how much her father, a fucking Senator, knew about what Cassian was doing to his daughter… taking care of? Cassian had spent the night thoroughly fucking her. Not what a father would have in mind.

“He knows that I just stood there and watched, right?” he asks, and he’s trying to play it off, like he’s not worried about her father, about his job.

She gives a shrug and takes another sip. “I’m sure you would have handled them if you were in front of me. Next time, I promise to let you take the first shot. Sound fair?”

She looks so innocent, and Cassian just wants to kiss her again - so he does. It takes him a moment to realize that this is the first time that he really started it, the first time that he has made the move, has kissed her, has kissed her because he wants to, needs to. Her arm goes over his shoulder, and she’s pulling him close again - he pulls from her lips just long enough to set his cup on the bedside table, and then hers as well. 

Jyn just looks amused, watching him, and then his hands go to her waist, picking her up so that she’s on his lap. She’s facing him, and he can feel she’s not wearing any underwear, wishes he had pushed the blankets down - but then she kisses him and fuck he doesn’t care about sex, he just wants to kiss Jyn, kiss her and hold her and make sure she knows how important she is to him, how he’s so glad she’s okay, how - 

He can’t believe he’s still in her bed, kissing her, and she’s not pulling away.

They end up in the shower, and Cassian gets to enjoy unbuttoning the shirt, peeling it off of her, tossing it aside. He doesn’t initiate taking the risk of them slipping and falling under the water, but then Jyn turns around, and he - fucking hell, he scrambles out of the shower, grabs one of the condoms so fast, he almost slips on the wood of her bedroom floor. 

By the time he comes back in, Jyn is fingering herself, and he pushes her hand away, runs the head of his cock up and down her slit, presses in - she has to go onto her tiptoes, and ends up bending over, grabbing where the tub meets the wall of the shower, but she’s so tight and hot around his cock, his eyes roll back in his head. 

Cassian feels selfish, because it only takes a few minutes for him to cum, and his hands go against the wall of the shower to keep himself upright. When he finally pulls out, Jyn looks content, but certainly not satiated… but that’s easily fixed, because he presses her back against the wall of the shower, hoists one leg around her waist, and runs his fingers along her cunt, fucking her on them as his thumb rolls around her clit.

She comes easily for him, her body already an open book, and they finish up, Cassian washing her hair, Jyn using her shampoo to wash his in response. He wishes he had a razor for his face, but she runs her nails along it like she likes it, and he’ll never shave again if she really does enjoy it.

He’s absolutely lost to her as they climb out the shower, and she pulls his shirt back on, and a tiny pair of shorts that only barely cover her ass. He has nothing clean to put on but pulls on his boxer briefs from the night before, following after her as she heads into the kitchen.

A knock at the door interrupts them from anything, and when Jyn comes back, she has a box in her hands. She sets it on the table and motions to it, making Cassian worry for a moment. What could be in it, and why is Jyn just - there’s another knock at the door, and he wants to grab his gun, but Jyn is already opening the door, bringing in a second box, this one open, so he can see what’s in it.

Groceries. She had groceries delivered. He knows that’s a thing, but he tends to exist on takeout these days… Jyn had groceries delivered.

The first box, he pulls open, and it’s - it’s  _ clothes _ .

There’s a button up shirt on top, plaid, and it’s soft, and he lifts it up, realizing it’s his size. Underneath is a few tshirts, and a zip up hoodie, and then - there are  _ pants _ , shorter and smaller than his size, but maybe they’ll fit better than what he has been wearing. And… there’s underwear and socks and he….

He’s just staring at the clothes while Jyn is putting away the groceries behind him, leaving out eggs and bacon and orange juice.

“Come help me make breakfast?” she asks, and he turns to look at her in shock, trying to hide it. She looks so innocent, as if she doesn’t know what she’s done, and he… he takes in a breath, setting down the clothes, going to her.

Jyn turns against the counter, and his fingers run into her hair, pushing it back from her face, and he kisses her, kisses her long and slow, like he can’t believe this is real, that she is real, because holy shit she ordered him clothes and food and he - 

This isn’t real. None of this is real. This is some sort of domestic dream where he never fucked up in his life and is somehow allowed the most beautiful and perfect things, and he’s not going to take this for granted, he’s going to enjoy this dream as long as it lasts.

 

* * *

 

Cassian isn’t sure who proposed this, but he currently has Jyn Erso laying on her kitchen table, ass up in the air, and he’s not going to question it. They had spent the past 24 hours laying around in basically nothing, eating and chatting and laughing, and now he’s… well, Jyn had woken up and told him she had been naughty, and fucking hell, he wouldn’t argue her asking to be punished.

He bends her forward, pressing her hands down where they land out ahead, and he shifts them forward a few more inches, forcing Jyn to go onto her tiptoes. She had said she would behave, that she would do as told, and it wasn't that he didn't believe her... a part of him wishes she would disobey, that he would have to go find his belt, tie her hands to the chair in front of her, hoisting Jyn entirely off the floor. Fuck, now that he has her pert ass in view, he wants to sink to his knees, let his tongue explore... 

Jyn shifts in front of him, her hands sliding closer to them, her feet going flat, and before he can stop himself, Cassian slaps his hand across her ass. The sound practically echos, and Jyn lets out a hiss in response, but she doesn’t pull away, doesn’t stop him, just lets out a little whimper after, and fucking fuck he wants to kiss that mark, wants to leave more, wants to - he wants to fuck the hell out of her until all she can do is whimper, whimper and beg his name... and then make him whimper that same little noise as she takes her revenge.

So wet… she had said that she had been naughty, fingering herself, and he had believed her, because he had grabbed her hand, sucked her fingers into his mouth, but now that he has her up, he can see that she’s soaked, that she planned for this, planned to be slick and dripping… they would have to talk about this later, about how he would gladly get on his knees, eat her out, prepare her for this…

“Fuck me, please,” she begs, and Cassian suspects that it’s a tease, that she’s not really that needy, because this is Jyn Erso, and he’s pretty sure she’s never out of control, but hearing her beg him for that… he can’t help how hard he is for her, can’t help the groan that escapes him as he runs his hand up and down her lower back, pressing her down onto the table again.

Rolling the condom onto his cock, he runs the head up and down her slit, trying to not groan too hard. Her ass shifts a little, like she’s trying to back up onto him, and he pulls back a few inches, just so he can slap her across the ass again.

Jyn half jumps off the table, and he almost apologizes, but then he can see the inside of her leg, and she’s fucking soaked, and holy shit she’s literally dripping, and he’s… 

“Fuck, Jyn, you like that don’t you, baby,” he murmurs, and her hips arch up a little in response, like she wants it again.

So he does… he can’t help himself, slaps the top of her thighs so loud it almost stings, and he thinks he might just be able to make her cum like this if he keeps it up, except that Cassian has no self control, and instead of spanking Jyn again, he’s lining himself up, pressing into her, and she’s so goddamn wet, his eyes roll back in his head. 

She’s good for him, and it might be because Cassian keeps spanking her, every few thrusts, and she’s begging him now, begging him to fuck her and never stop, and he doesn’t know how much of it is her playing it up, and how much of it is Jyn in need, but Cassian has lost all control he has. One of his feet goes onto a chair, trying to get a better angle, and he lifts up her hips, shifting her so that her feet are no longer on the ground, and she’s forced up onto her forearms.

He fucks her so hard, he might break the table, or maybe that’s just his bum knee that cracks, but when he feels her squirt out around him, feels her cum running down both their bodies, he loses any control he had left, filling the condom, and then falling forward. He tries to be gentle, to remember what he just did, and fuck he just treated her like some sort of whore, but she’s…

She’s the one that finally rolls over, sitting up on the table, and her legs go around his waist as he pushes himself to stand up again. His arms are around her waist, pulling her forward and into his arms, and she wraps her arms around his shoulders, saying nothing, head on his chest.

He carries her back to her bedroom, and she’s completely boneless by the time they reach her bathroom. He’s careful to set her down on the counter, and he doesn’t know what he’s doing, but he knows enough to know that he needs to take care of her, that he should probably apologize, needs to get her cleaned up…

He turns on the water in the shower, then thinks better of it, running Jyn a tub. She’s still not saying anything, and once he has the water warm and the plunger in, he turns to look at her, sees that she’s shaking a little. Whether it’s the cold or the after effects of whatever just happened, he isn’t sure, but he goes to her, wraps his arms around her, pulls her close.

“You are so amazing,” he murmurs against her temple. She nods a little, still not saying anything, and then takes in a shuddered breath. “So beautiful, so good… you did just as told, stayed so still, and fuck, Jyn, the way you came on my cock…”

His fingers run into her hair, brushing it back from her face, and he is careful, running his hands down her back next, wondering about her thighs. “So unbelievable. I can’t believe how lucky I am, that you let me… Fuck, Jyn, do you realize how much I-”

Her lips are on his, so soft and gentle, and it’s like none of their other kisses. She’s kissing him slowly, like she’s thanking him, and he realizes, in that moment, that this may be the first time she has ever not been in control, the first time she has just… let go.

He’s in love with her, this beautiful woman…

When the water is half full, Cassian turns it off, and carefully lifting Jyn up and setting her down into the water. She lets out a hiss, and he knows her ass must be sore, but she’s not complaining… doesn’t even say anything until he stands up to leave the room, to pray to God for forgiveness for what he just did…

“Stay?”

That one word, and Cassian goes back, sees her hand extended out towards him. She’s shifting forward to give him space, and Cassian slips into the water behind her. It’s perilously close to overflowing, but neither of them notice as they both settle back into the water.

They spend at least an hour in the water, before they finally climb out. Neither of them speak as Jyn orders a pizza, and they end up on the couch, watching Netflix. He thinks this might count as Netflix and Chill, but he won’t argue with it. Eventually, she falls asleep in his arms, and he’s careful to scoop her up, carry her into her room, set her in her bed.

He should probably leave… He should leave, he should fucking leave, he should go back to work, he should make sure he even has a job, should apologize for what he has done… except that the last thing she had said to him was to stay, so he stays, sliding into the bed beside her.

Jyn immediately rolls over and curls up against him, her head on his chest, and he holds her so tight, he’s scared he might hurt her. He’s so fucking gone for her, and he can’t even deny it.

 

* * *

 

How Jyn is able to walk today, Cassian doesn’t know, but when they get up the next morning, she tells him to get dressed… and he’s just going to do as she says. Jyn Erso is entirely in control of what is going on between them, right now, and if she tells him to get dressed… she’s getting dressed as well, so he can take a wild guess that this means they’re leaving her apartment.

There’s a car outside of her place when they step outside, and he gives a nod to the agent sitting within, who gives a nod in return. There’s no one out stepping to join them, which means that he’s still Jyn’s bodyguard… which…

Surely, someone, everyone knows that he has spent the weekend with her.

They walk to the coffee shop where he normally grabs them coffee, and they step in together. He’s the one to pay, again, before she has a chance to open her bag, and when they step back out into the street, Jyn pauses, looks up at him, and then kisses him on the lips.

There’s no way in hell that every single agent, and her father, doesn’t know about this before the hour is out.

But an hour later, they’re walking into her office, and she’s gathering her things, and  _ no one has called _ . Jyn’s phone has had a few messages, though, not that she has looked at them, and he’s trying to not worry about it, but honestly, why is no one reaching out to him?

He could call into the office… he probably should, to check in, to find out about the attack the other night, to ask if there are any leads, any connections, to find out if the threat was being elevated… 

He gets as far as pulling his phone out of his pocket when he looks up to see that Jyn is currently looking at him over her shoulder, her hands on her desk, and the back of her dress… 

“You’re not wearing any underwear,” he chokes out, and he knows that the hem reaches her knee, which means she pulled it up, which means she wanted him to see this. She’s not wearing any fucking underwear and oh my god…

There’s a condom in her hand, and she’s smirking at him as she offers it to him, and in two seconds, he’s unzipping the front of his pants. Never before would Cassian think that he had a kink for teachers, for fucking them over their desk, but right now, all he can think about is fucking her onto her desk.

He turns her around, because her ass is still dark from yesterday, and lays her down onto it. Jyn grins at him, her head hanging off the edge, and he considers walking around, putting his cock in her throat - but she’s so wet for him, and there’s no way he can deny that she doesn’t look fucking beautiful, skirt pulled up, boots running to her knees, and oh god-

When he slams into her, his hands are wrapped around her thighs, hiking them up around his waist, and he thinks he sees God, or at least hears him, and he’s totally going to hell for this, for everything he has done, but she feels like heaven, and when his thumb rolls over her clit, making her cum twice before he does, he thinks she might be some sort of angel, sent to reward him for deeds he didn’t do.

Afterwards, they head out together, Cassian carrying both of the bags that she has filled with papers and books, and she mentions wanting to maybe cook dinner together. They end up stopping at a farmer’s market on the way home, and he can’t believe he thinks of her place as home, but she had toiletries delivered the day before, and another box of clothes that morning, and maybe - he might have moved in with her, without realizing it.

 

* * *

 

Jyn had only gotten so far as turning on the coffee pot before Cassian had lost his fucking mind.

They had spent the entire rest of the afternoon the previous day grading papers, well Jyn grading papers, and then he had made dinner for the pair of them. Afterwards, they had stayed up late, watching some Baking Show that Jyn loved on Netflix, which meant that neither of them had woken up until after noon. She had apparently cancelled all of her classes for the week, which was a good thing, because Cassian was enjoying this bubble they lived in, but - 

It meant that now, Jyn was messing around in her kitchen, making coffee, while wearing nothing other than the tshirt she had taken from him the night before, and it wasn’t quite long enough to go past the bottom of her ass, which meant he saw she was wearing no underwear again…

He was too hungry to wait for his breakfast.

His hands were on her waist in seconds, and his mouth went to her throat, kissing the soft skin. Jyn froze in his hands, then tilted her head back, giving him access. She was so soft against him, her body entirely receptive, so he doesn’t say a word, just slowly turns her around until they’re face to face.

His lips are parted as he looks down at her, and she’s smiling, actually smiling at him, and he has no idea what that means, no idea what any of this means, but he kisses her, kisses her through her smile, kisses her until the smile is on her lips as well.

Picking Jyn up, he sets her on the edge of the counter, then grabs one of the chairs from the table. It’s the perfect height, and Cassian sits down, carefully setting Jyn’s legs over his shoulders. She’s leaning back on her hands, looking down at him, expectantly, but there’s a bit of an arch to her brow, like maybe… maybe he sometimes surprises her.

She’s already a little wet for him, as he tugs her to the edge of the counter, but Cassian is in no rush. It seems like the past few days, he’s been only just barely holding onto control, and right now, it’s not about him, it’s not about getting himself off, it’s about tasting her, about giving her pleasure. He ignores his own cock, still clothed in the boxer briefs she purchased for him, and instead, just concentrates on her.

Tongue sliding between her folds, he easily finds her clit, but instead slides back down, tonguing at her cunt. She always tastes good to him, but a part of him wonders how she would taste after he cums in her, a mix of salty and sweet, and that - that makes him grow harder, but instead of grabbing himself, his fingers dig into the tops of her legs, where he’s holding onto her.

Her fingers eventually go into his hair, and that urges him on - he’s taking his time, teeth grabbing at her folds, lips wrapping around her clit, and he’s slowly working at her, her moans becoming loud with time, the whimpers more frequent. When her hand tightens on the back of his head, he knows she’s getting close, and he goes back to her slit, fucking her with his tongue.

Neither of them say anything as he pulls away for a moment, taking a breath, and his gaze flicks up to her, seeing her watching him. His lips press to the inside of her thigh, and then the other side, before he goes back to eating her out.

He’s still in no rush, but he’s definitely building to something, licking at her clit repeatedly. When his lips finally wrap around the bud, her hips jerk in response, and he realizes how close she is. He thinks about sinking his fingers into her, letting her cum as they curl deep within, but he likes this position, likes how he worked her up to this point, and just goes with it.

When she cums, he has to move his hands to grab her lower back, keeping Jyn upright, and his eyes watch hers, watches how they roll back in her head, how her lips part and her scream is silent. He licks her through it, until eventually she’s half shaking, the aftershocks hitting her.

Standing up from the chair, he wraps her legs around his waist, and then sits back down. He’s in no rush, and now that he’s tasted his fill of her cunt, he wants to taste her lips. She kisses him first, though, long and slow, and her hands are back in his hair, pulling it up onto ends. She seems to have a thing for it, and he knows she ordered him razors but he also hasn’t used those yet either.

He wants to know what she likes, but he’s scared to ask, scared he might not be it…

They spend Tuesday the same way they did Monday, working on her papers together, watching Netflix, and eating leftovers. When they finally climb into bed, she’s wearing the tshirt he had worn that day and a pair of underwear, and he’s wearing another pair of boxerbriefs, and when they brush their teeth together in the bathroom, it feels so unbelievably domestic, it actually hurts to think about leaving.

His stuff is all over her bedroom, and granted, it’s not actually his clothing, but instead the clothing she purchased for him, but the items are no longer in the box, instead all shoved into a drawer. His suit from Friday has been hung up in the closet, and he’s actually washed some of his new clothes with hers.

He has a side of the bed, and a phone charger on that side, and he doesn’t know what they are or where this is going but he loves her, there’s no question about it. He fucking loves her, loves how she smiles at him, how she kisses him, and he wishes she knew what he was thinking, wishes he knew what she was thinking…

He loves her. He loves her, never wants to leave her.

She’s supposed to be a job, just someone needing protection, but she’s so much more. So much more and it hurts… Fuck it hurts, because at some point this has to end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Told y'all.
> 
> I ended up having to split this chapter in half, and I added an epilogue, so now we're at nine parts.  
> WHATEVER I HAVE NO CHILL MY BAD.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is like E + + and is about as E as it gets.

Never in his life has Cassian been so fucking hard before, and Jyn isn’t even in the room with him. The instructions had been simple. Jyn was going to take a shower. When she came out, he was going to be sitting in the chair that sits in the corner of her room, with everything back into the box save for the set that he had chosen for her.

It was simple, it was easy - except that everything in the box was lacy and strappy and he wasn’t sure that all of the fabric together could even make a shirt.

Lingerie. Jyn was making him pick out lingerie for her to wear.

All of it had arrived that morning, and now he was picking up the pieces, all of it still in separate bags, with pictures attached. He had already separated out anything that wasn’t black - he hadn’t known there was such a thing as having a favorite color, but seeing Jyn in the black dress, the black bra and underwear the night after the fight at the bar… He had a thing for seeing her wearing black.

Next was the sets that were too strappy. He wanted something that maybe actually held her up, because he thought they might be going somewhere, and wouldn’t that be hell, knowing what she wore underneath her clothes, not being able to touch her.

The set of stockings were… intriguing. He thought about Jyn in a thigh holster, and nothing else, tucked underneath a dress, and yeah, stockings were definitely in.

He had split the sets into three categories - the sets that were there but see through, the sets that were more practical and almost flirty, and the sets that were missing sections - he really wished he knew the plan, but finally went with something that was a mix of the three - a thong that was see through in the front, more or less, and a bralette that had lace, so much lace… 

His hand hovered over the corset, and that was there for another day - he wanted to be practical.

He really wouldn’t mind watching Jyn put all of these on for him to see.

By the time she comes out of the shower, towel wrapped around her body, hair pinned up on the top of her head to keep it dry, the box is by the door, filled up again, with the bralette and thong, along with the stockings, sitting on the bed.

Jyn eyes the set, and raises her brow at him - he can’t decide if that’s a good thing or a bad thing - but she gives him a nod.

“Thank you for doing as you’re told… do you think you can get undressed for me?”

Cassian is almost ashamed at how quickly he responds, standing up and yanking his tshirt off over his head, pushing the shorts down off his body, and he’s about to push down the black boxerbriefs he’s wearing, when he hears her voice, telling him that’s enough - he sits back down, tossing his clothes to the side, out of the way, so that he can watch her.

She’s graceful, the way she walks across the room, and she stands at the end of the bed, just a few feet away from his chair. He can see a drop of water running down her shoulder, can see the soft tendrils at the back of her neck, where they’re damp, and fuck, he wants to reach out and touch her.

Instead, he sits perfectly still, his eyes trained onto her, watching, waiting for direction.

Her eyes trail over him for a moment, and then she turns away, towards the bed, and he watches as the towel falls, hitting the ground. He can see the dip of her hips, her spine, her perfect ass, and she’s still a little bruised from his hand a few days before, but he wouldn’t take it back. They had already discussed how much she had enjoyed it, how she might enjoy it again, and if that hadn’t set his heart racing…

In truth, Cassian was more excited about the fact that she was maybe planning a future for them, that included him with her, but he also very much loved the idea of fucking her into another level of existence.

He also really wants to know what the fuck she’s doing right now, because he’s already hard as a rock, and they’ve gotten absolutely no where.

Time seems to stop as Jyn picks up the bralette, and she pulls it on, hooking it into place, and the dark lace looks beautiful on her skin. The underwear as well… he made a good choice, particularly how amazing her ass looks, and he wants to grip it, wants to dig his fingers into the flesh, wants to mouth at her clit through the lace underwear, and he will… he really will, just as soon as she lets him.

His mouth is starting to water, and then Jyn sits down on the edge of the bed, not looking at him, essentially ignoring him. It bothers him, how she has basically tuned him out, and what was the point of him picking out her lingerie if she wouldn’t even acknowledge him? He watches as she bunches up the stockings, and then slips her toes in, and she’s so slow, pulling the sheer texture up her leg, and - oh.  _ Oh _ . This is a performance. This isn’t about the destination. This is about the journey.

Cassian sits back, grinning, watching as she carefully pulls the stocking over her knee, and when it reaches the top of her thighs, the stickiness of the top lace attaches to her leg. She then works the other up, slow and almost methodically, until she’s wearing nothing but the lingerie he chose for her.

Then, it’s just silence. If Cassian wasn’t watching for something to happen, something to change, he wouldn’t have even noticed. He notices, though. He sees, how she shifts back onto her hands, how her hair slowly falls back over her shoulders, how her gaze shifts from herself over to him, how her eyes trail over his body, how they linger on his throat, how they move down his chest, down to between his legs, down to the bulge that’s pushing on the front of his underwear.

Fuck, he wants to touch her but he can’t… well he can, but he thinks she would rather he didn’t.

After a long moment, Jyn pushes herself up and walks towards him, and he knows what she’s doing immediately. Jyn sinks down onto his lap, in between his legs, and he shifts a little lower, letting her get comfortable on her seat, and fuck, he wishes she were sitting on his face, using his jaw as a throne… maybe she will, if he’s that lucky.

“What do you want?” she asks softly, and he thinks he imagined it for a moment, except she’s looking at him expectantly, and he has to lick his lips to find an answer.

“I- Can I taste you? May I? I… I want to taste you.”

Jyn smiles at that, like she’s proud of him, like he did something good, and he wants to hear her say it, wants to hear her tell him he did good… instead, she’s quiet, her hand now trailing down his chest, and then over to her own stomach.

“That’s all you want? You just… want to taste me?”

He nods, and his eyes lower down her body, to wear her hand is running over the front of the lace underwear, and he can see that they’re wet, see the fabric getting darker. He wants to use his tongue to clean it up, but he keeps it between his teeth.

“What would you think if I sat on your tongue?” she asks, and Cassian sucks in a breath in response. “Mmmm, I think you might like that. You say you like to be in control, but what would you do if I tied you to my bed and sat on your face for hours, using your tongue to get myself off?”

He doesn’t say anything, because he can’t, words stolen from him. He doesn’t know how he feels about the tying up part, but he likes the thought of her on his face, would want to hold her hands, run his fingers over her legs. Not tied up, maybe not yet… but he doesn’t want to tell her no.

“We’re just talking about it,” she says, and her hand is in the front of her underwear now, fingers running over her slit. “If you and I were going to start pulling out ropes and denying each other orgasms, or going into sensory overload, we would spend hours talking about it first, talking about what we liked, didn’t like, pick a safe word… we’re just talking about it.”

He likes the thought of that, and he wants to grab her wrist, wants to pull it aside so he can touch her… but he doesn’t. 

“I don’t like ropes,” he says, and Jyn raises an eyebrow slightly. “The idea of being tied down… But I can keep my hands to myself if you tell me to.”

She smiles at that, and he knows he did good, wants to ask her if he did good… he doesn’t say it, though, doesn’t ask. He wants her to say it anyways.

“Mmmm, and what else do you not like?” she asks, and her head is falling back, and his eyes can’t pull away from her throat, and fuck, he wants to kiss it. “Tell me what else you don’t like.”

“Pain,” he says, and he wants to touch her so bad, knows he can’t. “Other than that, I don’t think there’s anything else about you I couldn’t like.”

Jyn sucks in a breath, sitting upright, and her body turns, twists so that her legs are on either side of his, leaving her half floating between them, only the strength of her leg muscles keeping her from falling between them. She puts her free hand on his abdomen, right beside his cock, and fuck he wants her to touch him, but he’s mesmerized, watching her now finger herself in front of him.

“And what do you like?” she asks, and he wants to ask the same of her, wants to know what she wants, doesn’t want, wants to please her.

“You,” he says with a growl, and she laughs, laughs at him. “Tasting you, eating you out, making you make those little gasps when you are about to cum on my cock or my fingers. I like making you scream.”

She’s shivering in front of him in response to it, and his mouth is watering, lips parted, and he… he should get a taste.

“Jyn - Let me taste.”

He wants to suck on her fingers, suck on her clit, suck on her until she cums so hard she sees stars.

“Not yet,” she says with a gasp, and she falls forward slightly, her hair brushing his chest. He wants to touch but won’t his fingers digging into the chair, and all he can do is watch as she pushes herself to an orgasm, shuddering around her own fingers.

When she pulls them out of her underwear, they’re dripping wet, and he opens his mouth immediately. He thinks she might deny him, but then she’s trailing her fingers over his lips, and into his mouth.

Cassian sucks the digits in quickly, tongue wrapping around each finger, and he can taste her, can taste her cum, can taste her wetness. He wants to burry his face in there, wants to feel it on his own fingers, but he’s obedient in this, waiting as she lets him such each finger clean.

“Do you know what I like?” Jyn asks, and her voice is breathy, and he looks up, watching her. 

“Me?” he asks, and his voice is hopeful. The smile he gets tells him that that wasn’t what she was asking, but yeah, he was right on that point.

“I like how you watch me. How you can’t look away. How you’re doing as I say without me repeating myself… how you understand me without me saying it. I would love to see what you would do to me if you had the power… if I let you.”

Fuck, he would spend hours pleasing her if she let him, if she gave up all control, and he nods as her hand grabs his jaw, her thumb on his lip, and he licks at it, eyes catching hers as his teeth press into her thumb.

“Maybe tomorrow I’ll let you do as you like… would you enjoy that?”

His eyes are heavy as he nods, and he’s so hard he might cum without her touching him at this rate.

“And today?”

Jyn laughs, and he’s worried for a moment, until her free hand moves over to his cock, stroking it through his boxers. In seconds, she has him pulled out, and he lifts his hips just enough for the elastic to slide down so it’s not cutting into his skin.

“Today, I’m going to ride you until you cum,” she teases, and he grins, grins as she reaches over to grab a condom. It takes both of her hands, and she has to steady herself to stay upright, but he doesn’t touch her still, hasn’t been told he can. She rolls it on, and then shifts forward, shifts until she’s hovering over him.

“No touching,” she reminds him, and he nods, head tipping back as she leans forward. She sinks onto his length and he tries to not curse, but he won’t last long like this, not after that show.

She’s rolling her hips and he thinks this might just be for show, but then she shifts up even higher, so her knees are on the chair, and fuck, he’s already cumming. It’s almost an embarrassment but it feels so fucking good, and his hand grips onto the chair arm so hard, he thinks he might have heard it crack. Her mouth is at his throat, sucking a mark into the skin, and she slows down just as he thinks he can’t take anymore, slides off of him while he tries to remember how to breathe.

He didn’t even last thirty seconds but he has also never cum so hard in his life, so it’s a fair trade.

“Fuck,” he gasps, and Jyn slides off of him, tugs her underwear back into place, and heads out of the room still wearing nothing but the lingerie she chose for him. There’s a smirk on her lips and he can’t look away as her eyes trail over him, a complete mess.

“Good boy,” she says, and all he can do is huff out a laugh before letting his head fall backwards, heart still racing.

 

* * *

 

Jyn had said he could do whatever he wanted… and Cassian had a plan.

He had spotted her vibrator in the bathroom that morning, and it had immediately spawned an idea, one which led to him asking her if she would mind laying down on the bed, with her head just barely on the edge. She had said nothing, was once again wearing the lingerie from the day before, and he loved to look at her, her hair falling down and almost reaching the floor, her long legs with the stockings, the bralette only just barely keeping her breasts contained…

And now, now he gets to look at her, gets to walk around the bed as she lays there, squirming. He had already grabbed the sex toy, tested it, let her see what he has in his hands, but she’s saying nothing as he takes her in.

“How do you feel about being tied up?” he asks, and Jyn grins at him before lifting one leg, going to the stocking. He knows what she’s thinking immediately, but he wants that to stay there-

Grabbing her ankle, he puts it back onto the bed, then walks around behind her head. Taking her hands, he pulls them up, and then underneath her head, putting them behind her neck. He would love to tie her up, but not today. That’s a long conversation, a lot of research…

He plans to tie her up if she wants that, but not today. That’s a fantasy for another day.

She’s looking at him expectantly, and then Cassian flicks the vibrator on, walks around to the end of the bed, and sets it at her clit. She jumps immediately, the vibrations running through the lace, and he doesn’t rush it, lets her feel it, nothing too rough, not yet.

He leaves it there, between her thighs, and walks back around, grabbing her breasts in each hand. They beautiful, fit his hands perfectly, and he gives them a squeeze before moving his hands to her face. Her hands are still behind her neck, and he runs his fingers over her lips… 

“You have a beautiful mouth, Jyn. How would you feel if I fucked it?”

The sound from the vibrator changes for a moment, and Cassian realizes what it was - she had tightened her thighs at the thought, it had shifted a little with the movement, she  _ liked _ it.

“Say it,” he asks, and she lets out a breath in response.

“Yes.”

Cassian pushes his pants down, and moves one hand to the back of her head. The other, he strokes himself, and rubs the head against her lips. They part immediately, and he lets out a groan as she sucks in the first few inches. She can’t do much like this, but he did say  _ fuck it _ , so he rocks his hips a little, just giving her the first few inches.

“Ahhh, one moment,” he says, and he pulls himself out of her throat - he needs to get her off first.

Moving back around the bed, Cassian climbs onto the bed and pulls the vibrator away from her core. Jyn lets out a gasp at the loss of contact, but Cassian quickly tugs her underwear down each leg and tosses it away, leaving her in the stockings and bralette. He takes the vibrator and puts it back at her cunt, this time, spreading her lips so he can reach right to her clit. He rubs it around, searching for the right spot, and when Jyn lets out a scream, he knows he has it.

Just like with his fingers, Cassian works her up, and it seems to take only a few seconds, a sign of how close she had already been, before she cums so hard, her body arches off the bed. He removes the vibrator from her, then walks back around, rubbing his cock against her lips again.

She takes him back in, and he watches her eyes, watches her throat, not rushing her, waiting until he’s about halfway in and her lips are wide open, taking him as he starts to fuck her mouth…

Then, he puts the vibrator back on her clit.

His free hand has to shift up to her abdomen quickly enough, because it seems Jyn is unable to keep from moving, from squirming away. He doesn’t concentrate just on the sensitive bud, working it up and down her slit, dipping it in, even running it lower for a moment, but he always returns to her clit, rolling it around with the tip of the vibrator.

He can feel her about to cum again when she chokes a little, and he pulls out of her throat, looking down at her to make sure she’s okay. One of her hands pulls out from behind her neck, though, and she grabs at his leg, her nails cutting into his skin.

“Keep going,” she gasps, and he doesn’t want to really choke her, but she’s shaking again, like she’s about to cum - Her hand moves to his cock, feeding it into her mouth, and she’s pulling him in, not stopping him until he’s hitting the back of her throat, and then her body tenses, shakes.

She’s cumming, orgasming from being choked on his cock, from the vibrator, and he sees the wetness, sees how soaked she is. They’ll have to change the sheets, and he should stop, should really slow down, but she’s shaking so prettily for him, her chest turning red from a blush, almost - she could stop him, she could stop him and doesn’t.

He keeps going, working his hips, hitting the back of her throat, and he doesn’t move the vibrator, just rolling it over and over around her clit, not giving her a break. She’s screaming around his length, and her hold on him doesn’t stop, maintaining her grip on his hip as he forces her to orgasm again.

When her body starts shaking, he pulls his cock from her throat, and she’s screaming so loud, he knows she’s having another orgasm, seconds after the previous. His hand grips his cock, and he strokes himself straight through it, cums with her, shoots out all over her breasts.

He’s only just barely concious enough to remember to pull the vibrator away from her clit, and then he flicks it off before sinking to his knees beside the bed, breathing hard. He can’t believe he just did that, just forced her to take another orgasm, to choke on his cock, just came all over her tits…

She’s crying, he realizes, and he drops the toy to the floor, shifts to help her sit up, thumb running under her eyes.

“Jyn, are you - oh Christ, are you okay?” he asks, and she nods her head, smiling.

“Sorry, sorry I just…” She’s gasping for breath still, and he tries to not look at his cum running between her breasts, over the lace, but it’s hard to look anywhere else. “I can’t believe how hard I just came.”

A choke of laughter escapes Cassian as he realizes she isn’t hurt, isn’t upset, and he grins, nodding.

Together, they climb off the bed, and he half scoops Jyn up to take her to the bathroom. The stockings are easy to get off, but when they remove her bralette, his cum just gets everywhere, resulting in Jyn just giving up on getting cleaned up and instead climbing on the shower. Cassian doesn’t join her, instead going and changing the blankets on the bed, and he knows where her sheets are, knows her linen closet, and tries to not think about it.

She’s coming out of the bathroom as he’s pulling on a pair of sweatpants, and she looks radiant, rubbing a towel over her stomach, drying herself off.

“Hey, by the way, I talked to my father-”

He freezes for a moment, not believing what he’s hearing. Her father… she’s talked to her father. Neither of them have really had any outside communications, and he knows how weird that is, knows it’s a bad sign he hasn’t gotten a call… but he doesn’t want to ask, just in case.

“Oh?”

“Yeah, he wants me to come over for dinner on Sunday. You’ll come with me, right?”

She’s looking at him like it’s the simplest thing in the world, like there’s no big deal to it… just a guy going to dinner with his girlfriend to see her dad. It’s normal, it’s…

It’s not them.

“Of course,” he says with a smile, and she smiles back. They share a kiss, and she moves to grab his shirt that he had been wearing earlier, before climbing into bed after him. 

She falls asleep quickly, but Cassian is stuck staring at the ceiling, processing what she just said. Dinner with her father. She wants to have dinner with her father. Like he isn’t the future President. Like she isn’t his daughter. Like Cassian isn’t supposed to be protecting her.

Her father is going to kill him… and then have him fired.

He’s fucked. He’s so utterly fucked.

 

* * *

 

When Cassian wakes up in the morning, Jyn is still asleep beside him. It’s the first time all week that he has been up first, or at least without her waking up a few seconds behind him. Rather than waking her, he climbs out of the bed, and heads into her kitchen. They’re out of coffee, so he grabs a pair of running shorts and a teeshirt, then heads downstairs.

There’s a car, like always, parked across from her apartment. Cassian gives the agents a nod, and they nod back… he considers walking over, saying hello, asking if he’s still employed… but that would mean having questions answered that he doesn’t want to ask. Instead, he heads down to the coffee shop, grabs two cups, and heads back.

He gets a nod from the agents, and gives one back.

He’ll ask tomorrow.

When he walks in, Jyn is still asleep, so rather than waking her, he sets her coffee on her side of the bed. Clearly, he had worn her out the previous evening, and he tries to not think about it as he climbs into the shower. The water burns, it’s so hot, but it feels good. Taking a few minutes to himself, to just zone out… 

When he climbs out, Cassian grabs the razor, but only because he has a few days of growht that needs some serious maintenance. His face looks strange, being smooth again, but it was a necessity. He looks more like himself… except he is more like Agent Andor… less like Cassian. For some reason, he doesn’t like it.

When he steps back into the bedroom, Jyn is awake, and she gives him a smile over a cup of coffee.

“I think we need groceries,” he says with a grin, and he drops the towel before he climbs back into the bed, giving her a kiss on the cheek.

“Mmmm, you shaved. I kind of like it.”

Cassian laughs with her, and reaches for his own cup of coffee before he sits back against the pillows. “I thought you liked the stubble?”

“Oh, I  _ love  _ the stubble,” she says with a grin. “But I definitely don’t like the full beard you had going. The day after you shave, though, and the next few after…” 

Her eyes seem to glaze over for a moment, and he promises himself to figure out how to never shave too low again, if she’s going to have that response.

“I’ll grow it back, just for you,” he promises, and she grins as she takes another sip.

He hasn’t felt so normal in his life, like he’s just flirting with his girlfriend, and it’s freaking him out… they’re not dating, but it really feels like it. It really feels like this isn’t what it is…

“Well, if we need groceries, we can run out and grab something. Do you… do you want to make something for dinner?”

He had mentioned, previously, that he enjoyed cooking… he brightens at the thought, imagines cooking for her… cooking with her… it’s something that a boyfriend would do for a girlfriend. It’s something he wants to do for her.

“I would… Yeah, I can cook something for dinner.”

She smiles at him again over the edge of her cup, then climbs out of the bed. She’s wearing only that tshirt from the night before, and then pulls it over her head, tossing it aside. Her eyes flick over her shoulder, and he loves that mouth, loves the way that she grins at him.

“Stay right there,” she hums, and yeah, he won’t fucking move.

When she comes out the shower, though, Jyn goes straight to getting dressed. He wonders if something has changed, and goes to her, pressing a kiss to her neck - she immediately turns around, kissing him back. It’s so gentle, so loving, he almost forgets his concern… 

He doesn’t ask, though, because really, Cassian doesn’t care. They’ve fucked on every surface in her apartment. He doesn’t need it now. Really, he just wants to spend time with her.

The trip to the market around the corner is exceptionally domestic, with Cassian pointing out ingredients, and Jyn pushing the cart. They pick out a few other items together as well, including coffee, and eggs, and he promises to cook her breakfast as well. 

He has been at her place for one week, and he’s planning to stay another day, to cook her breakfast, and the way she’s looking at him steals his breath.

They work together in the kitchen, and while Jyn claims to have limited skills, she’s a good listener. He can trust her to chop, and sets her to work, working together with her until finally, they’re putting the dishes into the oven. Timer set, Cassian presses Jyn to the counter, kissing her lips, her jaw, the spot under her ear.

And that’s it… Cassian picks her up, sets her on the counter, and they kiss. It’s not rushed, it’s not impatient, and something about this is far more intimate than undressing her and eating her out on this counter, as he had done earlier that week. It’s so much more personal, the way her fingers run into his hair, over the slight growth on his cheek, and he caresses her arm, fingers running over the inside of her wrist.

They kiss slowly, softly, gently, until the timer goes off, and he finally pulls away to pull dinner from the oven.

When they climb into bed that night, Jyn immediately curls up against him, her head on his chest… They’re having dinner with her father in two days, and he’s pretty sure that this is… that this is something real. Today wasn’t about sex. It wasn’t about passing time. Today, he let himself slowly love her, and she allowed herself to be loved.

They’re dating. They have to be dating. If this isn’t dating, then Cassian gives up. They still haven’t talked about it, haven’t talked about the future, haven’t talked about the threat on her life, haven’t talked about the fact that he hasn’t gone home in a week, haven’t talked about the fact that his job is probably gone and his plant probably dead…

But he’s cooking her breakfast in the morning, and they’re having dinner with her father. They might not really be talking about the future, but he has one with her. It keep him up for a few hours, thinking about it, thinking about his life with her.

If her father does become the Vice President, she’ll have an Agent every single day, keeping her safe. If her father becomes the Vice President, she’ll always be someone of importance, and Cassian? He’s just a Secret Service Agent. He broke the ultimate rule, sleeping with her.

But being with Jyn… he doesn’t know what he would do with his life, but if he was with her… Cassian thinks he could figure it out. Keeping her safe, keeping her close… he wouldn’t mind a job like that.

They’re dating, they have tobe dating.

Fuck.

Fuck, he loves her.

 

* * *

 

When Jyn wakes up Saturday morning, she can hear a song being sung from the kitchen, can hear something frying, and she can smell coffee. The bed beside her is empty, and she climbs out of bed in search of Cassian. He’s in the kitchen, wearing nothing but a set of sleep pants she bought for him, and they sit low on his hips, perfectly. She’s in his shirt from the day before, and it smells like him, like the aftershave he had put on, another item she had purchased for him.

Fuck, he’s so beautiful in the morning light, with the windows open, and she… he steals her breath, leaving Jyn frozen there, unable to do anything but watch.

She could spend the rest of her life living in this bubble, staying here with him, watching him. He’s unlike anything she ever imagined, ever experienced, and she can’t help but to slowly approach, wrap her arms around his waist, press her lips in between his shoulder blades.

“Good morning,” he murmurs, and she smiles against his skin. They’re trapped in this moment, trapped in this world just the two of them, and she… she doesn’t want to ruin it, doesn’t want to disturb it.

So, she doesn’t. In true Jyn Erso moves, she avoids the issue, and instead just lives in the moment, tackling what’s before her. It had taken all of her energy, all of her strength, just to ask him to go to dinner with her father. She couldn’t… she couldn’t verbalize any more than that.

She showed him in her actions, how she bought the coffee he loved, how she ordered him clothes that fit, his aftershave, everything he needed, so that they could stay in this world. If he left… Jyn knows that he has to go home, that he has a home, but she wants to stay like this, the two of them, no one else, nothing else.

They can’t stay like this, but without the outside world, he is hers, and she can’t… she can’t let him go just yet. It verges on toxic, but the door is right there. If he wanted to leave, he could. Instead, he was there, every day. He never left. She never asked him to go.

“Good morning,” she whispers against his back, and she stays there, looking just over his shoulder as he cooks. He has a pan with tortillas in it, and she’s watching as he goes about mixing eggs, pouring them into another pan, never pulling from her, standing in front of the stove together.

It’s not until he goes for the plates that she finally pulls away, and she pours herself a cup of coffee, reaches in to grab silverware, and meets him at the table.

Together, they sit down, and they’re both quiet, neither of them reaching for their phones, neither of them saying a word, just eating, smiling at one another over their breakfast.

He’s so fucking beautiful, his hair a mess from his fingers, falling almost over his eyes, and she could spend all day looking at him, wishes she could capture this moment, this feeling, store it away for when everything falls apart.

She’s so in love with him it aches, aches because she doesn’t know how to tell him, only knows how to show him, to show him and pray that he understands, that he knows… 

When their plates are clear, Jyn takes them into the kitchen, and washes them up. She’s setting them on the drying rack when she can feel him approaching, and his arm wraps around her middle, much as hers had, and his lips press to her neck, just above where her tshirt is.

He loves her back. He has to. She…

She has been with men before this, has had men tell her they love her, has been kissed and romanced, but never like this. Never like every moment is precious, like he can’t breathe unless he tastes her lips, like he can’t be away from her for a moment. She knows that this is just the honeymoon phase, before the issues and the problems arise, but it has never been like this.

They can’t keep on like this, this bubble has to burst, but she’s caught in it, caught up in him, and she can’t… she can’t let go of him, can’t let go of him as her hand slides over his, fingers interlocking on his abdomen, and his lips move into her hair.

It’s not seduction, it isn’t. He’s not trying to get into her pants, although if he wanted to, if he wanted to bend her forwards and lift up the edge of his shirt on her body, he could. She wouldn’t stop him, would beg him to keep going, would beg him to drop his pants enough to fuck her over the kitchen sink….

But this isn’t that.

This is romance. This is Cassian unable to stop kissing her, and Jyn leaning into him, drawing on his strength. This is what she needs, this is all she has ever wanted, an equal, a partner. They both need that control, but they also both need to lose it, to have it in the hands of someone they trust. She needs this, a man beside her that she can rely upon, that she can hold up herself.

She loves him, she’s in love with him, but she can’t tell him. She can’t say the words, because once they’re out there, she can’t take them back, and their bubble is burst….

Their bubble would be burst tomorrow, when they leave this place, when she has to face her father, when they have to sit down and hear about the attack on her that she has been ignoring, when the timeline is up, when the time her father gave her to process this is over…

She had begged, when he had called the previous Saturday, to let her have the week to process it… to let her stay safe… and even if she hadn’t said it expressly, to let her have the week with Cassian. She had promised to not ditch her bodyguard, had promised to let Cassian stay the week… 

She had bought them this time, this time for them, and now, they had to leave it.

Their bubble would be burst, when she had to hear about what Krennic wanted, about what the next steps were… She would keep Cassian’s job, would let them reassign him, would promise that she had thrown herself at him and he had kept her at a distance…

She loves him so much, it’s choking her, but she won’t say the words.

“Can we go back to bed?” she asks, and Cassian nods against her skin. She can feel his free hand running into her hair, brushing it back from her forehead, and she closes her eyes, tries to keep the tears from falling. 

Her father could read her so easily, would take one glance and realize that she had slept with Cassian, that she had feelings for him, that it compromised them both… She couldn’t keep Cassian, but at least she had had this week. Had had this time to… she was supposed to get over him, but instead, he held her heart in his hands, and he cradled it before giving it back to her.

“Whatever you want,” he promises, and she thinks he might understand, that he might realize that this was the end, might know that… that what they had between them, they couldn’t keep it.

She loves him enough to let him go. She can do that much, at least.

They don’t end up back in the bed, instead in the shower, and he washes her hair, kisses her so sweetly that she hopes he can’t see her tears under the water. His hands run over her body, washing her with the soap, and she does the same, taking her time to wash between each finger, behind his neck, run her fingers into her hair like it’s the last time.

It’s probably the last time she’ll get to touch him like this.

Except it isn’t, because when the water is turned off, he picks her up, wraps her legs around his waist, and carries her back into his room.

For once, neither of them are in a rush. He kisses her long and slow, like he can’t break this bubble either, and in her heart, Jyn is afraid how much he knows. He’s kissing her like it’s the last time, because it is. This is the last time, and then they have to part.

He doesn’t say anything when the tears are in her eyes, instead kissing them, kissing her fingers, kissing her knuckles… 

She loves him so much it burns in her soul, and when he presses kisses down her body, she runs her fingers under his chin, drawing him back up. His face is no longer clean shaven, the perfect length, a bit of burn to it, and she wants to feel it between her thighs, but not today… not ever again. She just wants him in her.

He reaches towards the drawer to grab a condom, and Jyn - she grabs his wrist, sucking in a breath. Never in her life has she fucked without a condom on, even with long term boyfriends, for however short they lasted… but this isn’t fucking.

Not this time. Not this last time.

“I’m… I’m clean. I can pull up my bloodwork if you want, and I saw your entire file when they assigned you, so if you don’t want to, we-”

He kisses her, his hand moving back to her body, and she knows this is wrong, that they should discuss this when they weren’t naked, knows that they should use one anyway, but it’s the last time, and she wants nothing between them, just wants to feel him.

She would remember this for the rest of her life, how she had loved a man so much, all she wanted was to feel him be part of her.

His fingers run between her legs, brushing over her clit, and her hips jerk in response, his fingers dipping lower with the move, curling inside of her. Jyn gasps in response, but grabs at his wrist - “I just want to feel you.”

It’s by far the most intimate thing she’s ever said, the most vulnerable, but Cassian… fuck he’s so beautiful. The light is coming in perfectly from her windows, and he smiles, he smiles at her like he knows, like he knows her, and he does. He knows every part of her, Jyn thinks, just as she knows him.

Nothing in her life will ever feel as good as this, will ever feel as natural as him loving her slowly, as good as letting him love her.

She can feel the head brush against her clit, and then he’s pressing into her, filling her up slowly. Her head falls backwards, off the side of her pillow, and Cassian reaches up, grabbing it out from under her head, so she’s flat on the bed. It’s perfect, and his hands move down her sides, lifting her at her hips, pushing himself in deeper.

“All I feel is you,” he murmurs, and Jyn tries, she tries so hard to say it, tries to tell him, but instead, her hands go to his face, pulling him down, kissing him slowly.

They set an unrushed pace, Cassian leaning over her body, her legs hiking up higher around his waist, and just move together. His hands move aside her hair, her fingers run through his, and they rock together until his breathing becomes harder, like he can’t last anymore.

“Where do… fuck, I haven’t even touched you yet-” he gasps against her throat, but Jyn doesn’t care. She doesn’t need an orgasm to feel good, knows that if she asks for one, he’ll give it, but that’s not important. All she wants is to feel him.

“In me… you can… or on me, or wherever you want,” she gasps, and she feels his fingers sliding against her clit. She won’t, he’s too close, but that’s okay. “It’s okay, just… I want to feel it.”

Three more thrusts, and Cassian is stiffening against her, in her, and she can feel him, can feel him cumming inside of her. It’s messy and sticky but she doesn’t care, her fingers pressing against the back of his neck, other hand digging her nails into his arm, and as he relaxes against her, he keeps up the movements of his fingers, rolling around her clit.

He’s softening inside of her but doesn’t pull out, just keeping up his touching on her clit, his mouth pressing kisses to her neck and chest. He doesn’t seem to be in a rush, and that’s what helps Jyn over the edge, knowing that Cassian would give her all day to give her that pleasure. 

Her toes curl, and she gasps against his mouth as he swallows her moans, kisses her through it. It’s not until she’s relaxing against him, waves of pleasure subsiding, that he pulls from her.

She doesn’t have to move, Cassian grabbing one of their towels, and he cleans them both up before he climbs back under the blankets. His body draws her in, and it’s the middle of the day, but they both still fall asleep wrapped around one another.

She loves him, and she hopes he knows. His mouth keeps opening against her skin, like he has something to say, but then it closes…

She loves him, and it’s not enough, because she won’t make him lose his job for her, won’t put his life at risk, won’t… if he speaks up and says otherwise, he can make his own choices, but he hasn’t said the words either. If he wants to say it, he can.

Instead, they both stay silent, neither of them talking.

The rest of their day is silence, with Cassian cooking them dinner late in the day, and Jyn finding something on Netflix. They stay there until they pull each other to bed, and when they climb under the blankets, Cassian holds her so tight, that Jyn knows he must know it’s the last time.

He falls asleep first, and Jyn looks at him in the moonlight coming in through her window, her fingers running over his temple, down the side of his face, over his jaw. 

“I love you,” she whispers, and she has never said it out loud, not even to her father, not since her mother died. “I love you…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I mean y'all know where to find me. Send death threats there.
> 
> After this, we're moving on with the plot itself, so yeah.
> 
> BUCKLE UP KIDS IT'S GETTING ANGSTY


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a cliffhanger.

When Cassian wakes up the next morning, the bed beside him is cold. He looks at the clock and sees that it’s late, and he remembers that he had stayed up late with Jyn, stayed up late touching and kissing her… panic hits him as he realizes he doesn’t know where she is, though, and he stumbles out of bed, stumbles into the kitchen, and he sees her sitting there, a cup of tea in abandoned on the table, her eyes rimmed in red. He wants to go to her, sink down, take her hands, kiss away her pain, but he’s frozen, frozen as he looks at her, drinks in the sight of her, one last time. This might be the last time he gets to see her like this, wearing his shirt, completely natural, completely open for him.

He wants to go to her and make it all better, but he can’t. Something is weighing heavy on her, and he sees that her gaze is on something in her hands, a long cord with a stone on the end. He hasn’t seen it before, but the way that Jyn holds it, it’s clearly something she treasures.

He wants to ask, but instead, he just waits until she looks up at him, standing there naked in the doorway, waiting for her to acknowledge him.

She doesn’t look up when she finally speaks.

“Wear the suit that you wore to the bar, and make sure you shave. I’m going to get dressed.”

She doesn’t even look at him when she stands up, grabbing the cup, and taking it to the sink. He stands there, waits for her to come towards the bedroom so that he can reach out, grab her hand… instead, she stays at the sink, and he finally accepts it for what it is.

She’s shutting him out, and there’s nothing he can do to stop it.

Cassian stays in the shower for as long as he can, shaving his face, washing his hair, and when he finally gets out, he looks at himself in the mirror, truly looks at himself for the first time in a long time. He’s not the same man he was a month ago, and certainly not the same man he was a year ago. Everything has changed because of her. He can’t just put on a suit and pretend like nothing is different.

He doesn’t know how to stop this disaster, but he has to. He can’t just leave this place, knowing it’s the last time. He can’t just kiss her, knowing it’s good bye. He has to change this, because he has waited his whole life to find somewhere he belongs, and he found it. He found it here, with her, found it by her side, in her smile, and he can’t… he can’t leave without her knowing that.

He’s fucking screwed but he doesn’t even care. He just has to get her to see that whatever’s going on in her head, whatever is wrong, he’s with her, that she doesn’t have to shut him how. They can face whatever it is together.

When he walks out of the bathroom, everything looks… different.

The bed is made for the first time in a week, all of the items that Cassian had worn over the past week had been folded and placed in one of the boxes that a food delivery had come in, and his suit was laying on the bed, socks and underwear included. The box was sitting in a chair, off to one side, but he ignored it. Until this point, his clothes had been thrown around the room. It was about time they were organized, but he should have done it.

_She’s throwing him out. She’s kicking him out of her place, out of her life._

He refuses to look at the box, just gets himself dressed, takes one last glance around the room, hopes it isn’t the last time he sees it. He looks at the bed, where just the night before, he had told her he had loved her with his movements, with the way he kissed her, the way he touched her. He loves her, and he can’t leave without knowing she knows that.

Stepping into the living room, he sees that Jyn is dressed, wearing a black dress with gray lines across it, and she looks beautiful, looks amazing, with her hair in a low bun, and the necklace from earlier, it’s around her neck. She’s wearing those boots that she had worn at the bar when she beat up her attackers, and he wants to kiss her, needs to kiss her -

She looks up at him and there’s a brief moment where she smiles, like she likes what she sees, and she stands up, takes two steps towards him… and then she pauses. He knows what she’s doing. She’s overthinking. She’s pushing him away. She’s creating distance.

Fuck this. Fuck that. He can’t let her. He won’t let her.

Striding across the room, Cassian cradles her face in both hands, tilting her face up to kiss him. He’s a little rough, he knows that, but she could easily kick his ass, push him away, stop him, but instead, she grabs onto him, grabs the front of his jacket, pulling him close. He kisses her hard, like he loves her, like he needs her, because he can’t imagine a life that isn’t filled with her.

When she pulls away, her eyes are filled with tears, and she’s looking down, away from him.

“We need to go,” she whispers, and he nods, swallowing down every protest he has in his body.

Instead, he presses her lips to her forehead, and closes his eyes as his arms go around her. She doesn’t push away, just letting him hold her.

“We can talk about whatever it is when we get home,” he promises.

He’s pretty sure he’s not coming back here, not coming back with her, and it crushes him when she freezes for a moment, then nods against his chest. They’re lying to themselves… Lying to themselves, because it’s easier, and he doesn’t know how to fix this, but he has a few hours to figure it out before she shuts the door on him for forever.

 

* * *

  

Jyn knows that she has been quiet the entire drive, but there’s nothing she can really say, nothing she can say to Cassian to explain herself. There’s too much on her mind, and she wishes she could tell him, but the truth is, the only person she can really talk to is her father. She wishes this could happen over the phone, wishes that she could promise Cassian that things would be alright…

She had to talk this out. She had to weigh the pros and the cons. She had to have someone that understood her, that knew her mind, that knew what she couldn’t describe. She had so much of her mother in her, her mother’s fighting spirit, her mother’s intelligence, the way that her mother never backed down, despite being so peaceful… but she had so much of her father as well…

In particular the way that Jyn had slammed up walls around her heart after her mother died.

She was never supposed to feel this way about anyone, was never supposed to find someone that made her want things that were only painful. She had seen the way that her father had broken after the death of her mother, had felt her own heart rip out. That was what happened when you grew close to people, the loss of them could destroy you.

That was why Jyn sabotaged every relationship she ever had. Once it got to the point of any emotions, of any attachment, she had to end it. It was a defense mechanism, and Jyn knew that, Jyn was proud of it, how she could protect her heart, slam others out the door.

She can’t do that to Cassian. The thought of kicking him out, of ending it, the thought of never seeing him again, never touching him…

In the rarest of moments, late at night, when her father has had a few drinks, he always picks up the photo of her mother, the one where she is climbing on a cliff, fresh from a cave, her hair a mess from the wind, wearing the necklace Jyn wears now.... He talks about her, talks about how he had known the moment he saw her, but was too afraid to act on it. He talks about how, despite the pain, it was all worth it, because she was worth it.

It terrifies Jyn, because Cassian is worth it. Maybe she didn’t know immediately, and she didn’t even know it with time, and not even the first time they had sex, but out of no where, somewhere along the week, it had slammed into her, had hit her so hard it was impossible to breathe. She loved him, she wanted him, wanted him in her life, wanted him to be part of her…

She doesn’t know how to tell him, but her father… she just has to talk to her dad about this.

Her hand is on her necklace the whole drive, and she thinks about telling Cassian about her mom, but she hasn’t told anyone about her mom. Everyone knows, of course. Her father is a politician. A quick googling of her mother’s name talks about her death, about what happened to her, about how there was no leads, how it was ruled an accident in the end. But how she felt? She wants to tell Cassian how, even after all these years, she has nightmares of her mother’s murder, wants to tell him how she wants to cry for the little girl she was, how she refuses to braid her hair like her mother, she wants to -

She wants to tell him everything and it terrifies her. She keeps her mouth shut because otherwise, she’ll say things, do things, like talk about _home_ . Cassian had said they would talk about whatever she wanted when they got _home_.

She’s trying to not cry, but fuck, it’s all she wants to do, thinking about that word. Her apartment has always just been a place, she hasn’t felt at home since her mother died and they moved to the city and she… she looks at Cassian and she thinks about him and thinks he might be home and -

His hand reaches out, grabs hers, and she realizes, suddenly, that her hand had left her necklace, had gone to his leg. She was gripping it so tightly, her fingers ached, and Cassian… he was looking at her with such concern, his hand resting over hers, and then cradling her, cradling her fingers…

He looks so worried, and he deserves so much better, but Jyn says nothing, just looks back at the road, squeezing tight onto his hand before pulling away. She’s pulling away because she has to, because otherwise she breaks.

Just a few more hours… she has to… she has to know what to say, how to fix this, how to protect Cassian’s job, how to make sure no one hated her for this, she had to… she had to tell him, tonight. If he chose to be with her, they could figure out his future together, and yeah, it was a risk telling him how she felt, but the thought of letting him leave her life, the thought of never telling him she loved him…

It’s a good thing that they reach her father’s house, because the words are choking her. She wants to tell him so bad that it burns in her chest, but if she tells him, she can’t take it back. She has to have a plan, because she’s always too headstrong, always goes in without thinking, and that’s what got her into this mess. She has to be more like her father, has to make a decision, has to know the options.

Once she could tell Cassian what his options were, she could lay her heart out there. If he chose the job over her, then so be it. If he chose her…

She can’t think about it. She can’t think about how raw and exposed she already feels around him, and when she puts the car into park, she doesn’t even look at him. There is three other vehicles, one down the road, one parked just in front of the door, one around the side, and she knows who they are. They’re there to keep them safe, just in case.

The two vehicles that were following them parked down near the road, and no one says anything as Jyn, and Cassian, both get out. She waits for him, almost wants to reach for his hand, but then the door opens, and there’s Bodhi, standing at the door, waiting for her.

She knows she’s being summoned.

Cassian is a half step behind her as she walks up the steps, and when she sees Bodhi, she gives him a tight smile. It isn’t returned.

“Your father wants to see you in his office before dinner,” Bodhi says, and she gives him a nod.

“Cassian, come on. You should probably meet my father.”

“Just you,” Bodhi says, and Jyn freezes for a moment. “He wants to talk to Cassian afterwards.”

Jyn looks back at Cassian, who’s eyes are wide, and she sucks in a breath before looking back at her friend.

“What did you tell him?” she asks, and she can see the guilt there.

“Just what the agents shared. They saw you, outside of the apartment. You thought you could just kiss him and no one would see? They also reported the deliveries, the clothing, the food, the-”

The lingerie. Of course they knew what she had ordered. They knew she had ordered lingerie… and condoms.

“So what, I have no privacy now? I’m not a child. You’re both lucky I even agreed to a bodyguard.”

She’s getting angry now. These are her feelings, her emotions, her life, and she feels invaded.

“Jyn, you were attacked at a bar, and then shut yourself away for over a week with a guy you claimed to hate. Of course they were watching you, monitoring you. And no, I didn’t tell your father about everything, but he figured it out when you asked for a week of peace before facing the facts. Jyn, did you really think you could just hole up in your apartment and fuck your security guard and not have-”

Cassian had stepped forward, then, and she knew he was wearing a gun, but he hadn’t reached for it. It was simply his body being an imposing figure.

“You shouldn’t talk like that to Jyn… and I’m a Secret Service Agent, not a security guard.”

There was a long moment where the two men eyed each other, and then Jyn cleared her throat.

“I won’t explain myself, or my relationship, to anyone other than my dad. I’ll go and talk to him, but Bodhi… it’s honestly not what you think. I was the one that… and-”

She doesn’t know what to say, doesn’t know how to describe herself, and she doesn’t have to, doesn’t owe anyone an explanation, but she looks at Cassian, who’s face is unreadable, and she wants to cry. It’s not just fucking, she knows that, and… and she wants him to know that too.

“I’m going to go talk to my dad, and then I want to introduce you to him.” _I want to introduce the man I love to my father, after I figure out how the hell to let you into my secrets._ “Do you think you can play nice with Bodhi long enough to get a drink and try to relax a little?”

He gives a nod, and on impulse, Jyn leans forward, leans into him, because she knows that as she does so, that he’ll lean forward, press his lips to her forehead. He does it, and she smiles for a moment, feels his hand grab hers, squeeze it, and then she pulls away. She wants to kiss him again, but… soon.

After tonight, after she figures it out, after she figures out her plans… she and Cassian can go home. And maybe, if she’s lucky, they can spend the entire night together.

 

* * *

  

With Jyn stepping away, Cassian can do nothing but stare at the man that just verbally attacked Jyn, insinuating that she had just spent the week fucking for the fun of it, as if what had happened between them, as if it wasn’t… as if… fuck, he didn’t even have an explanation for it, but they weren’t just having a week of sex for the hell of it. Whatever was going on between them, it was new, and gentle, and kind, and yeah, it had started off as him just fucking the hell out of her because she was so unbelievably sexy, kicking the shit out of those guys, but it was so much more than that.

Jyn was so much more than that, and he wasn’t going to tolerate anyone, even this Bodhi, to insult her.

“... I told her to buy a vibrator to get over her attraction to you.”

Cassian coughs in surprise, because he doesn’t know what he was expecting. Clearly, she was friends enough with Bodhi to have a friendship of that level. He had thought the man was simply her father’s Chief of Staff, but clearly, the were friends as well.

“She said she hated me?” Cassian asks, and he hates how… weak… his voice sounds.

Bodhi rolls his eyes and finally steps inside, allowing Cassian to step in as well, the front door shutting as the man led him down a hall. “She was just saying that because she didn’t know how to handle the fact that she had a hot man show up to protect her. I’m surprised she even noticed. Jyn isn’t the type to care about anything other than her work.”

Cassian suspected that was a front, on Jyn’s part, but he gave a nod all the same as they entered what looked to be the dining room. Three places were set, and Cassian looked at them for a moment, then back to the man pouring a drink.

“Oh, no, the setting is for the three of you. I have dinner with my mum on Sundays as well, but Galen asked me to stay, to help keep the peace, just in case. He wasn’t sure as to what was going on with the pair of you, and was worried that you and Jyn might not be all that serious.”

There’s a glance from Bodhi towards him, something analyzing and calculating, and then he pours them both something from a glass with a single piece of ice in it. He’s not sure what it is, but he’ll take it, and Cassian clearly needs it before Bodhi speaks again.

“Is it serious, then? What are your intentions with Jyn?”

Cassian coughs again, and stares at the man. The audacity of it… Jyn’s father must have wanted to separate them, interrogate them. He understands the tactic… but in truth, Cassian just wants to be honest.

“I think that’s between myself and Jyn.”

It’s the only answer he’s willing to give at present, until Bodhi steps forward, head tilting slightly.

“Do you love her? Are you ready to give up your career for her? She orders you clothes, food, toiletries, a phone charger, everything you could possibly need. You stop contacting your work, even after she’s attacked. You were being watched in the bar, and didn’t even notice, because you were too busy looking at her. Are your feelings at least as strong as hers are? If they’re not, you need to walk away, because Jyn doesn’t need-”

Cassian is frozen, not moving, mask set, and then Bodhi pauses for no reason, then takes a step back, brushing the front of his jacket for a moment, and picking up his glass.

“Honestly, I’m about to do you a favor,” the man mutters, and he turns, walking away, beckoning one hand over his shoulder for Cassian to follow. Cassian does so, not really sure what just happened, and they walk into the kitchen, where Bodhi goes to a machine and presses a button.

Nothing changes, but Bodhi presses a finger to his lips, and when Jyn’s voice comes through, Cassian sucks in a breath, quiet, realizing what it is. This is an intercom system, coming from the other room, letting them hear what’s being said. He wants to turn it off, to stop it, but there’s so much pain in her voice, he’s frozen.

_How did you know she was it?_

He can guess that Jyn is asking about her mother, and he knows about the accident, knows about the police reports, how a ten year old Jyn had seen it happen, how she had insisted her mother was purposely killed… how her father had shut himself away from the rest of the world for some time before stepping out, continuing his research now in her mother’s field.

_I tried to lose myself in my work, again, after meeting her… but somehow, she kept pulling me back out again… and then when I was unable to lose myself in it, she helped me get back on task. She always saw me, knew what I needed without me saying it. I never had to explain myself. She just knew.”_

He hears the older man’s voice, and then there’s complete silence. Cassian hasn’t met the man yet, although he has seen videos from him speaking before Congress, and the man is not a public speaker… but he is exceptionally careful with his words. He doesn’t have to be charasmatic, though, to be moving. He is a man that believes in what he says.

In a world filled with slimy politicians, Galen Erso is brutally honest, and he can hear it now, can hear the same conviction in the way that he speaks to his daughter, speaks about the wife that he lost.

He’s just like Jyn, so like Jyn, and hearing the way he describes the relationship he had with his wife, knowing what he does about the man shutting himself away after the loss… so much of Jyn makes sense.

They shouldn’t be listening to this. This is private, this is… this is things that he shouldn’t even know. His hand moves to turn it off, when he hears the words that stop him, that stop his heart, that changes everything in her world.

_I love him._

She’s talking about him. She’s talking about him. She doesn’t have to say the name, but he knows. He knows that Jyn is talking about him, that she’s saying she loves him, and both of his hands grip the counter to keep himself upright, his eyes wide, and he’s struggling to remember to breathe, hearing the pain in her voice, how much she believes it, how much it hurts her to admit it.

_I love him, Papa, and I don’t… I don’t know how to… how to tell him, how to let him in…_

It takes all of his strength to not go bursting through every door to find her, to take away her pain now, to kiss her, to tell her how he feels, to tell her that he loves her, that she doesn’t have to find the words to explain it, because he sees it. He had seen it all week, how she touched him, how she kissed him, how she trusted him.

Fuck. That’s why she was so scared. The necklace, how she hadn’t really pushed him away, just put up her walls… asking about her mother… She was trying to figure out how to say she loved him, was preparing herself to lose him. It all made sense now.

Fuck. Fuck, he didn’t have any idea what to say, didn’t know what to say to her father. He had been preparing himself to fight for her, to fight for them, but instead…

Jyn is crying and he looks down at his hands, at his white knuckles, and he can’t listen anymore.

_He’s going to get in trouble. I know he wasn’t supposed to… get involved with me. They all know about the kiss, and the fact that we locked outselves away-”_

Cassian hits the button turning it off, and looks up at Bodhi, trying to compose himself. He has to take in a deep breath, particularly when he sees the amusement on the man’s face.

“So. I’m guessing your feelings are mutual.”

The man is far too smug, but Cassian doesn’t have it in him to argue about that right now.

“How fucked am I? Are we talking jail time?”

“What, for fucking a Senator’s daughter?” Yeah, definitely amusement in his eye. “All depends on how the Senator feels, but I think you’ll find you have his blessing. After this whole thing with Krennic is cleared up, though… you’re Secret Service. You’ll be given a new assignment. The job… it’s full time.”

Cassian swallows, because he knows that. Before this, before Jyn, that was what he wanted. Something that filled his time, consumed his life, because he had nothing else.

Now, though… now he had Jyn, and he couldn’t imagine leaving her.

“You’re ready to quit, aren’t you?”

Cassian doesn’t have an answer for that, but he swallows down any harsh words he has as he realizes that, in truth, he had already thought his job was gone, for what he had done with Jyn. Choosing to leave, though…

Fuck, he would quit if it meant he could have her.

“Try to not stress yourself about it. Krennic has been impossible to pin for years. You might stay assigned long enough for Galen to become President, and then you have four years to follow Jyn around.”

If her father became President… he could…

There’s no way he wouldn’t get in trouble for fucking the President’s daughter.

“Krennic… how bad is it? Lyra Erso… given what’s happening, is there thoughts that…”

Bodhi’s face darkens a little, and Cassian knows that he had hit the suspicions on the head. “We can’t pin anything onto Krennic, but the man is bad news. I worked there, with Galen, right after the accident, before he was pushed into politics. Orson supported him for his first term, set me there to keep an eye on him. When we realized what he was doing…”

He could be with Jyn for years, the threat against her a real thing. Cassian doesn’t like the thought of her life being on the line… but he wouldn’t say no to being with her.

“But look… I don’t think he would hurt Jyn. Jyn was like a daughter to Orson. He’s pissed as hell at Galen, but he still thinks he can pull him back into the fold. And Jyn? You saw, she can take care of herself. Just… figure out what you’re going to say to Galen when he wants to talk to you. That’s the bigger threat.”

Cassian nods, and he picks up the glass in front of him, draining it. The bourbon burns his throat, but it’s good, bringing him back to the present.

Fuck, what is he going to say to her dad?

“Can I uh… can I use the bathroom?”

His hands are feeling clammy, and he’s glad there’s no tie choking him, because even with one button undone, it feels too tight around his throat. He needs to… he needs to take a step away for a moment, pull himself together, process the fact that _Jyn loves him_.

“Yeah, you can use the one across from Jyn’s old room. I suspect she’ll probably come find you before she sends you to the firing squad.” Bodhi looks amused with himself, and Cassian takes a deep breath, trying to not stress. “Back through the dining room, into the main hallway, and then up the stairs, two floors. Just… don’t do something cliche like confess your love for each other in the bathroom. Like I just said…”

Bodhi is grinning at him and gives him a wink. “Bedroom. I’ll keep Galen occupied for a bit. Dinner isn’t even ready. You have time, lover boy.”

Cassian gives a nod, taking another breath, then turns, heading back to the main hallway and up the stairs. He can see the pictures on the walls, pictures of Jyn, of a family from before, but he ignores it all as he reaches the top landing. There’s only two doors up here, and he figures this is where Jyn sleeps when she stays over.

The one door is shut, but the other opens to reveal the bathroom. His hands hit the counter top and he looks at himself in the mirror, taking in a slow breath.

“Okay, Andor… you’ve got this.”

 

* * *

  

Her father is standing beside his desk when she enters his office, and two steps into the room, Jyn breaks down. The door isn’t even fully closed behind her, but just looking at her father, seeing the way that his eyes soften, how his eyes go straight to her necklace…

The tears are burning in her eyes and she has to choke it all back, suck it back in, because she’s an Erso, she’s her father’s daughter, and these emotions… neither she or her father have ever been able to express how they feel. It’s why she has to talk this out with him. It’s why she has to keep this together.

“Oh my Jyn,” he says softly, and he steps around towards her quickly, pulling her to him in a hug. She presses her face to his chest for a moment, and she’s glad he’s wearing a comfortable, worn sweater, rather than a suit, because it hides her tears much better. “Oh Stardust, what is it? You lock yourself away for a week, and now this?”

She pulls away slightly, looking up at him, and her hand goes to her neck, to her mother’s necklace. Her father’s eyes flick down to it, and then realization seems to hit him.

“It’s the boy. Bodhi told me that you were seen kissing him, but he didn’t think… I should have known, you shutting yourself away. Don’t tell me you sabotaged yourself again.”

She couldn’t even answer, instead pulling away, walking away from her father, going to his desk. With a shaky hand, Jyn grabbed a tissue and folded it twice, running it under both eyes to gather her tears. She was an Erso, and she could restrain herself, could pull her emotions back under control. She was better than this.

“No, don’t hide your tears from me,” he said, and Jyn swallowed down a breath, trying to compose yourself. “Not from me. You shut yourself away, you bottle yourself up-”

“I learned from the best,” she chokes out, and she swallows again, trying to clear her throat. There’s a glass on the desk, and she knows it likely holds straight bourbon, but she ignores it, knowing that the burn won’t help. “Shutting myself away, losing myself to my work, ignoring the rest of the world. That’s what we do best, isn’t it?”

“That doesn’t make it healthy,” he says, and she scoffs, because her father has never been one to say that they should eat their vegetables and talk about their emotions.

There’s a long silence as she turns around, and her father has sat down on the sofa on the other side of the room, his head in his hands. She knows that look… he’s questioning himself, and it’s not his fault. She was always like him before her mother had died… she had inherited the worst of both her parents.

“I didn’t sabotage myself,” she finally says, and he looks up at her, waiting for her to continue. Another thing they’re good at - not saying things. “Not this time. Not with him. I tried to push him away, but he…”

She looks away from her father, her hand back at her necklace, and she shakes her head again, because words are so impossible for her, to find the right ones, to say exactly what she means. She speaks multiple languages, and none of them can properly describe how she feels, how she feels for Cassian, why she’s so afraid, the questions she has.

“Was it worth it? Was it worth loving mama, knowing the pain it felt losing her?”

They’ve never talked about it. Not really, Occasionally, her father will mention her mother being proud, say how Jyn looks so much like her mother, but… they’ve never really talked about it. Never talked about the pain, about how Galen had shut himself away to mourn the loss, how he had shut down…

“The pain… the pain of losing your mother…” She’s watching him now, watching how his eyes are on his hands, how he looks to be breaking down all over again, like it’s fresh, like it hasn’t been fifteen years… “It weighs on me every day. I do not go a single day without thinking of her. It still… the loss of her, it…”

He looks to be struggling to breathe, and Jyn knows, understands. He can’t even process the pain of it now, all these years later. She gets it, and walks over, sits down beside him, grabs his hand.

Their eyes lock for a moment, and her eyes are his, the pain, the depth, how they struggle to explain, how they can only look, stare, observe…

“I do this for her. I am what I am for her. It is her strength that fuels me even now. Loving her has given me strength to last longer than our marriage did. My only regret is that we did not get more time together.”

There’s a silence settling over the pair of them, and Jyn isn’t sure how to respond. His eyes are back on his hands, and Jyn is holding them, her small hand trying to cover them as best she can, and she slowly takes in a deep breath.

Even after all this time, her father is not the same man he was before. The loss of Lyra had destroyed who he was… but to not regret it…

The thought of losing Cassian crushed her, but the thought of losing him without ever really having him was… she sucked it back down, all of her emotions, tears, everything building up, and she swallowed it down.

“How did you know she was it?” she asks, and she has never asked, had never asked when she was little, _before_ , and had never brought up her mom now.

She barely knows anything about her parents, their marriage, their life before, how things were back then. She wants to know now, though… wants to know what it’s like to love someone that deeply.

There’s a smile on his lips, and it’s tiny, something so rare, that Jyn tries to capture it in her mind, never lose it. “I tried to lose myself in my work, again, after meeting her… but somehow, she kept pulling me back out again… and then when I was unable to lose myself in it, she helped me get back on task. She always saw me, knew what I needed without me saying it. I never had to explain myself. She just knew.”

Jyn tries to imagine that, imagine someone knowing what she needs without asking, tries to imagine someone loving her so much that they drag her out of her self-destruction, loves her enough to set her back at it when she loses her way.

Cassian. All she can see is Cassian. Cassian pulling her close, running his hand into her hair, kissing her forehead, grabbing her hand, making her food, urging her to eat, pushing her on their runs, Cassian -

It’s only been a week but never in her life has anyone ever pushed down her walls, crashed in, pushed everything apart, destroyed her, and built her back up again. She has known him for longer, but this past week…

“I love him,” she gasps out, and it hurts so much to say it out loud, knowing her father can hear it, and her eyes fill with tears all over him. “I love him, papa, and I don’t… I don’t know how to… how to tell him, how to let him in…”

She tries to suck back her tears but it’s impossible. Her face crumbles and she buries it into her hands, trying to control herself, but it’s a losing task. She’s over the edge, now, utterly lost in her pain. She doesn’t know how to love him, how to let him love her.

“If he’s the right one, he’ll understand,” her father says, and she knows he’s struggling now, to give advice, and she nods before looking up, trying to suck it all back in.

“He’s going to get in trouble. I know he wasn’t supposed to… get involved with me. They all know about the kiss, and the fact that we locked ourselves away for a week… his job-”

“If he feels the same, he won’t care about his job,” her father offers, but it’s not true.

“You don’t… you don’t just become a Secret Service Agent and then throw it all away because of someone you just met. We’ve only been… it’s only been a week, and I can’t just ask him to throw it all out for me.”

Her father shakes his head, struggles for the words, and she pushes herself up, walks away from him, goes to grab another tissue. This is the root of the problem… no matter her feelings, she would be asking him to throw away his career, probably the thing he had worked for his entire life, all for some whirlwind romance. She couldn’t ask that of him.

“This threat… it’s not over with. Cassian can stay with you, until it’s fixed. It might be months… years. You don’t have to figure it out until he gets reassigned… and if I say that I want him to stay, I doubt the President will disagree. Who better to protect you than your own...  partner.” Jyn rolls her eyes, because she doesn’t need a bodyguard, has proven that she doesn’t, but still. “Once the threat is gone… then you will have to make a decision, but nothing is going to change today.”

He’s right about that. She knows that. As long as there is a threat against her, she has to have someone watching out for her, at the end of the day. It could be Cassian, stay Cassian, until such point in time as… well, things changed. Maybe by then… they could figure this out.

“Okay. Okay then. So, you won’t have him reassigned?” She has to admit to herself, that was certainly a fear.

“No Jyn, of course not. Not if he makes you… happy.”

Jyn smiles a little at that, and she has to suck it all back in again, the tears, her nose, trying to calm herself, and she nods as she dries her eyes.

“Yeah, Papa. He… he really makes me happy. So happy.”

She’s about to cry again, and instead forces herself to take a breath. She needs to talk to Cassian, today, right now, not when they go back to her place, not even after dinner. She wants to… she wants him to know now, before she introduces him to her father.

“Well alright then,” her father says, and he nods. She smiles a little at him again, and nods back. That was more or less a dismissal.

“So, do I get to meet this boy, then?”

Jyn rolls her eyes, and sucks everything back in, one last time. She’s sure her eyes are red, but that’s okay. She’ll probably have a hard time telling Cassian what she needs to, so no point in going to the bathroom and fixing her makeup now.

“Let me… let me talk to him first, okay?” She doesn’t know what Cassian thinks they are, but when she introduces him to her father, she wants it to be abundantly clear to Cassian how she feels. “I’ll bring him in after?”

Her papa sits back down on the couch with a groan, and gives a nod. “Send Bodhi in. I want to make sure that everyone understands I bless whatever you two want. No reassignments.”

She nods at him, then opens the door, going out to find Cassian.

 

* * *

 

He’s not entirely on the verge of a panic attack, but it sure as shit feels like one. His heart is racing, his face is red, and his knuckles are once again gripping the counter, this time in the bathroom. He’s trying to remember to breathe, to not panic, and he has to splash water on his face to try and cool down, the heat of it all getting to him.

Fucking shit, Jyn’s in love with him. Of everything he had imagined, had guessed, had assumed, this wasn’t it. Well, he had hoped, but he had thought… had thought she was saying good bye, had thought she would leave him here, would take a different Agent as her guard, but now…

Holy shit, he’s going to marry that woman.

He’s going to marry the hell out of her, and it’s honestly hurting him not to go down there and ask her right then and there. He’s going to have to fight to not tell her father that, because he doesn’t need Galen’s permission, although he would like his blessing.

They’ve only been at this for little over a week, but Cassian has never been so sure of anything in his life. All he has ever had is the anger, the loneliness, and now that he has Jyn…

He’d do anything for her, to take away her pain, to make her smile. He wants to be that for Jyn, what Galen had been saying about Lyra, thinks he might be that now. He wants to be the one that keeps her from losing herself in her work, wants to be the one to put her back on task, wants those smiles, her kiss, wants…

Holy shit, his mind is racing so fast, he can’t even try to pretend he’s okay.

He can hear Jyn coming up the stairs, calling for him, and he shuts the bathroom door, not quite ready for this. He needs another minute.

Splashing water on his face again, he takes a deep breath. He has this. He has got this. He can do this.

The first words out of his mouth are going to be -

No. No, not words.

Jyn doesn’t need words, she needs action. She had just said she couldn’t say the words -

But, he had kissed her before, had tried to tell her with his kiss, with the way he looked at her, how precious she was to him. He needs to say the words, so that there’s no doubt, so that she understands how serious he is, how ready he is to give up everything for her.

Words. He needs words.

 _I love you_ seems like a good place to start.

He scrubs a hand over his face and gives himself a nod. Right, that’s it.

He’s going to step out of these doors, take her hand, pull her into her bedroom, and just… say the words. Tell her that he loves her. That he loves her so fucking much that he can’t lose her, that he wants to follow her, all the way - no, too much at once. Too much too fast.

She had asked her father how he knew her mother was the one…

Whatever he does, he cannot leave this room and ask her to marry him. He doesn’t even have a ring, and no matter how much he has managed to fuck everything up, he won’t fuck that part up.

He needs to tell her he loves her, kiss her, and then see what she says.

Fuck, bless Bodhi, he definitely needs her father to be distracted long enough for him to figure out how to get the words out.

“Cassian?”

He swallows back a choke and gives himself another nod in the mirror, reaching for the door handle. “Yeah, just - give me a second.”

His hand wraps around it, going to turn, when he freezes. He doesn’t move for a half second, and then his finger goes to the lock, turning it slowly. His eyes are on one spot in particular, and he takes in a slow breath.

“Jyn? Jyn, beautiful, I need you to go back downstairs.”

He’s not moving, his hand now going to the door, pushing on it, pushing it so that if the lock fails, it can’t be opened. He still hasn’t looked away from where his eyes are caught now.

“What? No, Cassian, I need to talk to you-”

“Jyn, do as I say. You need to go downstairs right now, and take your father out of the house.”

There’s a brief pause, and then the door handle twists, Jyn trying to open it. His eyes stay on the lock, but it holds. It holds, and he tries to maintain his breaths.

Then starts the banging, Jyn banging on the door.

“Cassian, what’s going on? Cassian, open the door!”

He takes in another slow breath, reaching his hand into his pocket, and pulls out his phone. He still hasn’t looked away, and he licks his lips, trying to find the right words.

“Jyn, please… Please listen to me. Trust me. Trust me, beautiful. I need you to go downstairs, right now. I need you to do this to me.”

The banging stops, and then it becomes frantic, Jyn banging with one hand, trying to open the door with the other. He’s trying to stay calm, but he’s scared that if she keeps this up…

“Cassian, Cassian let me in. Don’t - what’s going on. Please, tell me what’s going on-”

He takes in another slow breath, trying to not panic, and he finally looks away, looks at his phone, and he calls his boss, because he doesn’t know who else to call.

There’s three rings, and then he hears the man’s voice.

“Well well, guess what I heard about you-”

“There’s a bomb.”

The words are out of his lips, and Jyn pauses in her banging on the other side of the door, just as the words come through the other side of the phone.

“What - you’re at the Erso house. Where’s -”

There’s a scramble in the background, calls being sent out, and then he hears Jyn on the other side of the door. He looks down and sees her fingers reaching underneath, can see her trying to reach him.

“Cassian, Cassian please tell me you’re joking.”

She’s crying. She’s crying, and trying to grab his hand.

His shoulder presses against the door as he sinks to his knees, and his fingers grab her fingers, trying to touch as much of her hand as possible. Thank God for old houses, because just touching her for a moment…

“We’re evacuating the house, Agent Andor. Get Jyn and yourself out of there. Where’s it located.”

Cassian laughs, his fingers tightening on Jyn’s hand for a moment, and then he lets go.

“Upstairs bathroom. It’s attached to the door. If I open it… it’s set to blow.”

Jyn bangs on the door again, and her fingers are wriggling, like she’s trying to push her whole hand through. “Cassian. Cassian!”

He smiles a little, and wishes he could reach through and grab her.

“Jyn is just outside the door, trying to get in. You need to send at least two Agents to get her. She won’t go willingly.”

There’s a silence, and then his bosses’ voice comes back through. “Understood. Bomb squad is on the way. If you’re trapped in there, we’ll try to talk you through it. Godspeed.”

The line goes silent for a moment, and he knows someone from the Bomb Squad will call him in a minute, and pretty soon, two agents will come barralling up those steps to grab Jyn, get her to safety.

“Jyn, Jyn you can’t even know how much I… how I feel about you,” he starts, and this isn’t right, this isn’t the place.

“No, no no no,” she gasps, and her hand is banging on the door again. He forces himself to take a breath, and he wants to reach through, grab her, touch her, shove her away, save her.

“Jyn, I will never regret knowing you. Your light… you’re…”

“Miss Erso, we have to go-” a man says on the other side, and Jyn is wrapping her fingers under the bottom of the door, trying to not let go.

“No, I can’t leave him,” she sobs out, and his heart shatters, because it wasn’t supposed to be like this. “I can’t - no! No, Cassian!”

Her fingers are slipping, and he just has to watch as they disappear, as she tries to bang, as now a second, and a third man, are trying to carry her down the stairs, out of the house.

“Cassian, no! Cassian, you can’t- Please! Please, you have to let me stay!”

It’s a good thing he’s already on his knees, because as her voice fades, as her screams continue, begging that they let her down, that they let her return to him, his strength crumples. There’s no timer on it, but he can see how it’s connected, can see that if he opens the door…

All he can do is wait. Wait and pray that he didn’t just say goodbye to the woman he loves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I SAID THERE WAS A CLIFFHANGER!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is it, folks! the big point! the big moment!  
> I hope I did it justice?

It’s the longest ten minutes of his life, sitting on the bathroom floor, staring at the door. He took as many pictures as he could, from all angles, and then dug around through the bathroom, through every drawer and the cabinet, looking for what tools he maybe had to use. There was the gap underneath the door, but there was no telling what he might need to use.

Unfortunately, he was limited to extra toilet paper, a spare toothbrush, tampons, and a bottle of Jyn’s favorite perfume. He didn’t even realize what it was until he took a whiff of it, and recognized it as what she sprayed on herself after every shower.

He had nearly sobbed his heart out at just the scent, knowing he might never smell it on her skin again.

When the call finally comes, his tears have dried up, and he answers it with an empty voice.

“Cassian Andor? This is Kane Wellix. Heard you have a bit of a problem in there.”

It’s an understatement, but Cassian coughs, trying to force himself to stand, bracing one hand on the wall.

“Yes. There’s an explosive attached to the door of the upstairs bathroom. There are wires wrapped around the doorhandle itself, and any attempt at remove the handle or separating the wires looks as though it will blow. There is no timer as far as I can see, no buttons to press-”

“Woah, woah, let’s slow down now, son. You said there’s no timer on it. I wouldn’t consider any timer to be accurate, but that’s also good. We need you to take some pictures of it, and some video as well, can you do that.”

Cassian tries to not bristle, because he’s a good agent, has seen bombs before… but they were nothing like this.

“Already done. Send them to this number?”

“That’s exactly it. Try to not touch it, of course. We have someone coming up there to look at the situation from the other side, but obviously don’t answer the door. If there’s any space underneath, we’re going to send some tools in, as many as we can fit. After our guys take a look at it, we’ll set up a video call to walk you through how to deactivate it. Sound good?”

Cassian clears his throat as he looks for words, then lets out a breath. “Yeah. I know not to touch it. Just waiting to hear from you how to turn this off so I can get the fuck outta here.”

“Sounds good to me, Cassian. Now, you got a girlfriend, a wife?”

The guy must not be secret service, because Cassian just laughs. Vaguely, in the background, he can hear crying, and he knows… he knows it’s Jyn.

“See the beautiful brunette sobbing her heart out?” He pauses for a moment, and tries to not cry. “Yeah, that’s uhh…”

“Well, shit, son. We better get you out of there. She already broke two agents noses trying to get back in. She might actually kill me.”

Cassian bursts out laughing, because that’s his Jyn, and fuck, he misses her so much, can’t imagine leaving this world without telling her he loves her. “Yeah, she actually might. She’s terrifying at times.”

There’s a silence, and then Cassian runs his hand into her hair. “Before this goes up, I wanna speak to her, okay?”

There’s a quiet moment, because that’s now how this is supposed to work… but he also shouldn’t be trapped in a bathroom with a bomb.

“Yeah, Cassian. Yeah, we can make that happen. Just send the pictures over and give us ten more minutes to figure this thing out.”

He can do that. He can do that.

“Well, I’m not going anywhere…”

 

* * *

 

As soon as Jyn had been dragged out of the house - and it had taken multiple men carrying her down the stairs and outside - she had half collapsed onto her father, who looked sick with worry. She couldn’t even talk, the tears running down her face, and she just looked back, looked back at the house, where Cassian was.

“Bomb, there’s a bomb, and Cassian-”

She sobbed out harder, and her father had tried to pull her away from the house, but she couldn’t leave. The second that his grip had slackened, she had tried to go back in, only to be grabbed by another Agent.

He now had a bloody nose, as did the first one that had grabbed her at the top of the stairs.

A perimeter was established, with clear markers, and more trucks had pulled up, the bomb squad, someone had said, and Jyn had been forced into a chair, to sit down. She had refused to leave, as had her father, and Bodhi was on the phone with someone, trying to get answers.

There was a bomb in her upstairs bathroom, with Cassian trapped inside.

Everyone was running around her, agents, Bodhi, even her father, but Jyn stayed in the chair, and she wasn’t sure where it had come from, but when an ambulance showed up, for whatever reason, there had been talk of sedating her.

She hadn’t moved since then. She wanted to be aware of what was going on, not entirely out of it because they tried to drug her.

When Bodhi finally comes back, he looks ragged, his tie loosened around his neck, and his phone hanging loosely in his hand. He didn’t seem to have any answers, but Jyn wanted them all the same.

“Why is there a bomb in my bathroom?” she asked, and her voice sounded so small, so weak, so unlike herself. She hated this, hated that she was stuck waiting, that she had no control, that she was stuck in this limbo as to whether or not she would ever see him again.

“I don’t know,” he says honestly, and Jyn nods, because she trusts Bodhi… but she wants answers.

“It was meant for me,” she sobs out, and Bodhi nods, because there’s no point in beating around the bush. It was in her bathroom. No one would go up to the third floor except for her. No one even cleaned up there. It was more or less ignored, save for Saturday nights, when she stayed the night.

“No one has been up there since the last time you stayed over… and that was over a month ago. You haven’t been here since…”

“Since Orson made his threats,” her father said, stepping over.

Jyn nodded, licking her lips, hoping for some answers. Her father sunk down beside her, and for the first time in her life, she saw her father getting onto his knees in the dirt. He had never been one to work with his hands. That was her mother. “Jyn, I fear it is my fault.”

She stares at her father for a long moment, then blinks and shakes her head. “You didn’t set a bomb in my bathroom, so how could this be your fault?”

Her father shifts a little, and then takes her hand. “A few days after Orson made his threats… he asked to come and see me, to talk things out. We’ve… we’ve been friends for so long, even before the job. I invited him over, for one last drink.”

Jyn already knows where this is going. She had never seen Orson Krennic without two big thugs with him… who had likely roamed the house.

“You let the man that threatened my life into the house, and he probably had someone set a bomb for me.” She’s shocked in disbelief that this had never come up before.

“He’s your Godfather, Jyn! I didn’t think he would ever really…”

“The man I love is upstairs, trapped in my bathroom, trapped by a bomb set for me, and you… you didn’t think that Orson really wanted to hurt me?” Her voice is louder than she intended, but Jyn is standing now, looking down at her father, and God, she can’t even stand him right now. “I love him Papa, and he’s going to die because you wanted one last drink with an old friend!”

Bodhi reaches over and grabs her arm, and she shakes her head, because she doesn’t want to be comforted. “I love him, Bo. I love him so much, and I can’t… I can’t lose him.”

He just pulls her into a hug, not saying a word, and she cries, cries because she loves Cassian, and because she can’t lose someone else.

 

* * *

  
The next call that comes in is video, and that gives him a little hope. If they want video chat, that means they know what to do next, want more information. It means there’s still hope. He answers it, and gets the face of a man he doesn’t know, with a whole group of guys behind him.

“Agent Andor, nice to put a face to a voice.”

“Likewise,” he says, but really, he just wants out. “Ready to get me out of here.”

There’s a nod, but Cassian can read faces - this isn’t good. “Yeah, we’re going to need you to lift the cover on that bad boy so we can get a look inside. We’ll walk you through each step, no worries, but we want to take a good look at what we’re working with. We got guys from all over the world watching this too, so watch your language, okay? Don’t need any kids overhearing anything too bad.”

He nods, and shifts a little, looking at the tools that have been given to him. There’s everything from tweezers to wire cutters to screwdrivers, but he doesn’t feel very confident.

“Alright, Cassian, going to get you to use that screwdriver, and you see that screw right there on top in the middle? Start with that one…”

They walk him through it, through every step, and when the cover comes off, he shows them every angle, lets them get a good look. The group has gone silent, and finally, he asks what he is afraid to ask.

“You don’t know what to do, do you?”

It takes a while to get an answer.

“This is… this is different. Primitive. This isn’t remote detonated, there isn’t a timer. It’s pretty specific to the location. Do you see the wires that are attached over the frame?”

Yeah, Cassian has been staring at them, the two sets of wires that were connected when he shut the door.

“Well, it’s pretty simple… when the current is no longer running through those wires, when they’re not running into the bomb itself…”

The man makes a noise, and Cassian sucks in a breath. Yeah, alright then. That makes sense.

“So then the first thing I should do is probably make sure that those don’t come unattached,” he says, and it’s a start, but…

“Right?”

The looks he get are more uncertainty, and it’s stressing him out.

“Come on, guys, I know it looks bad, but one step at a time. You say if these wires come apart, it blows, so I need to tie them together - yes or no?”

He finally gets an agreement to that, and Cassian looks at the tools. He connects same color to same color, one above and one beneath, and that’s simple enough. He has to set the phone down, and he prays a little before twisting the ends of the wires together, careful to not touch. Once they’re attached, he picks the phone back up, and shows them the bomb again.

“Okay, so what now?” he asks, and there’s more silence… and then everyone else walks away from the screen, leaving him with the guy in charge.

“Cassian… it’s probably time you talk to your girl.”

He knows what that means, and he takes in a breath, gives a nod.

“I’m not giving up,” Cassian says, and he means it. “Pass a saw under the door, and I’ll cut my way out. I’m not staying in here.”

There’s another nod on the other side, but Cassian knows the look - anything they do to the door, it might somehow interact with the bomb itself. Nothing is guaranteed.

“Look, we’ll work on it while you talk to her. Everyone else is going to cut out to give you two some privacy, and we’ll work on it. We’re not giving up yet.”

Cassian gave a nod, but he knew the truth.

He was a dead man.

 

* * *

 

Jyn is frozen standing there watching the bombsquad guys, and they’ve got a tablet pulled out, all of them bending over it. She can’t see anything more than that, and then suddenly, they’re all straightening up and looking at her. She freezes in Bodhi’s arms, watching as then finally, someone moves, the one in charge. The tablet is in his hands, and as he draws closer, she can see Cassian’s face - they’re going to let her talk to Cassian.

She tries to not break down again, the tears finally starting to dry on her face, the logic and reasoning and the lack of control finally helping her find a more pragmatic approach to the situation, but seeing his face, seeing that his jacket is thrown off, that he unbuttoned a few buttons, how he’s definitely sweating, how he - how his eyes light up at the sight of her-

Jyn breaks down again, choking on a sob as they set the tablet in her hands.

“We’re going to take ten minutes to make a plan before we get to work. You have ten minutes to say your goodbyes.”

She can’t help it, she lets out a sob at the thought, at the thought of saying goodbye to Cassian, and she’d probably punch the man for his lack of tact, but if he’s really the best there is in the capital, she’s glad he’s here, working this out for them. Cassian is shaking her head, trying to calm her, she knows, but without his touch, without him here, it’s impossible.

“Hey, no, not goodbye. I just have to tell you something, so that when I walk out there, you don’t punch me immediately and break my nose. I kind of need my nose not broken so that I can kiss you, Jyn.”

She laughs, because okay, that… that mildly works to calm her, and she’s thinking about punching and hitting a lot of things, but not Cassian. No, all she wants to do is cling to him, never let him go, never let him leave. She just wants to protect him from this hell they’re in.

“I promise to not break your nose,” she chokes out, and the tears are making her vision blurry, so she wipes at them, trying to pull it back together.

“I know you’re scared,” he says, and he sounds so eerily calm, Jyn wants to latch onto it, have his peace. “But don’t worry - this won’t take long. They said after this, we just have to cut a few wires, and then I’ll be out.”

He’s lying to her… but she knows how bombs work when only one person is trapped. There’s not much you can do, except to just… see how it goes. They must have put a timer on themselves, then, to make sure that it didn’t have an internal timer they couldn’t see.

“We’ve had sex for longer than fifteen minutes,” she says with a laugh, and she’s glad her father is two steps away, not wanting him to hear that.

Cassian nods, and she tries to smile… but there’s so much pain in his eyes, and she can hear it in his voice when he finally speaks. “Jyn… I’m so glad I’m the one in here. If our places were switched…”

They should have been. It was her bathroom, in her father’s house. That bomb was meant for her.

“Christ, I’d probably lose it if I lost you. I wouldn’t know how to breathe, how to think, how to…”

Her lips shake as the tears begin to build again, and she knows what he means, beacuse she feels it now, because she doesn’t know how she can keep going if she loses him now.

“Jyn, you have to know, I have to tell you, this past week has been the best week of my life… and I don’t mean the sex, which was good, but being with you, holding you, touching you… you made my life have meaning again. Everything before this, it was just going through the motions. I had no one and nothing, I put my life at risk for no reason, but after meeting you… You gave me a purpose.”

She doesn’t want to hear this. It sounds like a confession. Like a last confession.

“Tell me all of this after you kiss me,” she sobs out, because she doesn’t want him to give her his last confession, doesn’t want to hear him say goodbye.

“I don’t know when I fell in love with you, but the second I saw you shoot that guy in the leg and do it all in those little boots you’re wearing, I knew I would spend the rest of my life in love with you, and it wasn’t because you dropped that guy in a heartbeat, it was because you looked back at me and just grinned, and the life in your eyes... “

He loved her, he loved her, he _loved_ her…

“The rest of your life had better last longer than five more-”

She couldn’t even finish her reply, the sobs taking over, and she shook as she tried to keep the tablet in front of her, memorizing his face, memorizing every detail of him. She couldn’t lose him now, couldn’t…

“I love you, Jyn. I love you, and when I come out of there, I’m going to kiss you, and then we’re going to go back to your place-”

“Our home,” she says, and she’s interrupting him, and he grins at that, and there’s life in his eyes, the wrinkles around them showing how real it is, that he loves the thought of that.

“We’re going to go home, eat some burgers and drink some beer, and then I’m taking you to bed, so I can spend the whole night reminding you that I love you.”

She’s crying so hard, she isn’t sure her legs are still functioning, but she nods, nods because yeah, that’s what she wants.

“I can’t… I can’t lose you…” She’s sobbing in between every other word, and everything hurts so bad… she’s trying to ignore how she feels, trying to push down the emotions, pull up the mask, and she understands now why her father just shut down, why he shut everyone out, when her mother died.

Everything in her hurts from the pain, and she doesn’t know how to breathe, how to think, how to even force out the words. It’s overwhelming her, and she grips at her necklace, trying to maintain some power over her thoughts and fears, but they’re crushing her.

“Just stay right there, and I’ll be out soon,” he promises, and she nods, because… because that’s all she can do, trapped out here, only able to touch him through a screen. “I’ll be out soon.”

 

* * *

 

He keeps it together until the screen is handed off to the guy in charge, and when he knows the man has stepped away, Cassian just shakes his head, sets down his phone, and mutes the microphone.

He just lied to her. He lied to his Jyn. He made a promise he couldn’t keep. He knows the chances are slim, but he… He was selfish, to make that last confession, but he needed her to know his feelings. He couldn’t face death without her knowing he loved her.

He cries, cries because he finally found a home, because his heart is breaking, and he cries because he’s scared. Never in his life has he worried that much, but now that he’s here… he’s fucking terrified. He doesn’t want to leave her. Not yet. Not ever.

When he finally picks up the phone, his eyes are red, and he turns on the microphone, but says nothing… he already knows where this is going.

“We had our best guys look at it, and I’m going to just lay it out for you, okay?”

Cassian nods, and he sniffs a little, pulling in his emotions. He has to tackle this, one way or another, so better to just face it. “I already know it’s bad, so just tell me what I can and can’t do.”

There’s a long pause, and then the man begins. “First thing is… you’re already dead. Tell yourself that now. You’re already dead. No matter what you do, it’s over.”

Cassian knows what this is, getting himself into the mindset. If he just accepts he’s dead, he can move forward, otherwise, he’ll be trapped in fear. “Yeah, given the bomb, I’ve pretty much already accepted the fact that I just lied to my girlfriend.”

The man nods, and they both seem to be trying to ignore the crying in the background.

“Alright, here’s the deal. The current is running through the door handle. We think, if you remove the door handle, and leave the wires connected TO the handle, and move it without any of the wires shifting… you can get out of there.”

Cassian gives a nod, looking at the handle. It looks easy enough, screws on his side… the other side of the handle will fall and hit the ground, and it will be tight, but if he makes certain that the wires on the other side are well attached together…

“We’re going to send some electrical tape up there. Cover the wires you already connected, and tape them to the handle. While we’re there, the guys’ going to loosen the handle on the other side. We need you to hold it tight, and don’t let it move, okay?”

Cassian nods, and a few minutes later, there’s the tape, and the handle wiggles… and then nothing.

“Alright… so I tape the wires, tape the wires to the handle, disconnect the handle, and…”

The man gives a shake of his head. “Set it on the counter and run. We don’t know how long it will take to actually blow. We think that might deactivate it. We don’t know if there’s something in the door itself. Just… get the hell out of there, if you can.”

Cassian gives another nod, then takes in a deep breath. All that’s left is to do this.

“Look, if this goes to shit…”

He freezes, he’s freezing, because he can’t imagine a world where he doesn’t live through this…

He looks at the bomb, looks at the tools, and he understands what he has to do. He understands that there’s no guarantee, that his life could end in about five minutes, but it was either sit here and wait to die, or get himself the hell out of here.

He was going to kiss Jyn until they didn’t remember how to breathe, if he somehow managed to get out of here.

“Remember,” came the voice of Kane through the phone, “if you’re dead, the bombs no longer your problem.”

Cassian isn’t sure why, but that sentence makes him laugh.

 

* * *

 

The longer it takes, the more she worries. When she had handed off the tablet, had said good bye, for two minutes, Jyn had really believed him… had really believed that there was a chance he would survive. The longer she sits and waits, though…

She’s watching them, watching the men that are supposed to be helping deactivate the bomb, and after they send a guy in, who comes back out… they’re silent. They’re really silent. No one is working. No one is talking.

They look like they don’t know what to do.

She’s trying, trying to keep it together, but the longer she waits, the more she cries again. She’s standing, now unable to sit any longer, and her father is in the chair… she had almost attacked her father, after hearing Cassian’s voice, but the pain in his face… she knew that Krennic’s hold on him ran deep. It wasn’t her father that had said the bomb. She couldn’t be angry at him.

She could be angry at everyone else, though, angry at these men for not getting Cassian out, angry at Bodhi for trying to hold her back, angry at Cassian for lying to her -

He had lied to her. He wasn’t coming out. He wasn’t going to live.

It slams into her suddenly, as the man with the tablet sets it down, and runs his hand over his face. There was some hope deep within her, but with that action, it was cursed. They didn’t know what to do. There was no plan. The man she loved was trapped inside of her house, trapped by a bomb that was set for her, and there was no way out of there.

She’s ready to throw in the towel, ready to give up, because she can’t do this. Jyn looks at her father, sees the pain that he still suffers after all this time, and she knows that isn’t for her. It might be a new love, but this was a true love. There was no one else for her after this, and before Cassian, she would have sworn that life was about so much more than a great romance, was about so much more than finding someone else…

The problem is, now that she has met Cassian, she doesn’t want to face the world without him. She can’t face the idea of waking up in the morning, and he isn’t there. She can’t face the idea of going for a morning jog alone, can’t imagine not having him there for Sunday dinner.

It hits her so hard in the chest, she can barely breathe, and she stands up, looking at the house.

The man she loves is in there, alone, scared, and he doesn’t even know how much she loves him.

She’s just about ready to jump over the line, to run in there and just throw the door open, to yell at him until the bomb went off, when the door opens.

There’s no one else inside, but the door opens, and out stumbles Cassian, who looks dazed, shocked, and he’s… he’s holding a bottle of her perfume.

She’s frozen for all of two seconds, but then he looks at her, and she takes off.

Bodhi, the agents, the bomb squad, no one can stop her as she runs across the front lawn, and Cassian opens his arms at the last second, catching her. Her arms go around his neck, and she hugs onto him so tight, she’s scared she might actually crush him.

It takes her ten seconds to realize that she’s crying, but that’s okay, because he’s crying as well.

“You lied to me!” she sobbed out, but he didn’t, because he’s here, he’s right here, right now.”

He’s laughing, tho, and he picks her up, her legs going around his waist, and his hand holding her under her butt, still holding the perfume with the other hand. “No, I kept my promise. I told you I would see you soon.”

It takes her a minute to realize they’re walking, but then they’re on the other side of the line, the bomb squad running inside in their specialized suits to probably deactivate the bomb, and Jyn…

She pulls away just enough to look at him, and then she kisses him.

Kisses him like she loves him.

Kisses him like she needs him.

Kisses him like she can’t lose him.

And Cassian? He kisses her back.

Kisses her like he means it.

Kisses her like he loves her.

Kisses her like it’s their last day on earth, and he can’t get enough.

“I love you,” she gasps against his lips, and he grins, grins like he can’t believe it’s real, and gives a nod.

And then he kisses her again, and Jyn knows what it feels like to come home.

 

* * *

 

The problem with kissing Jyn is this - now that he has started, Cassian can’t stop.

Literally. He literally can’t stop kissing her, because he’s pretty sure that this is all a dream, and if he’s going to die, he’s going to die with the taste of her on his tongue, and the feeling of her in his arms.

He had been guided over to an ambulance that had pulled up, had a bunch of things attached to him, making sure he was okay, but he refused to stop kissing her. A thermometer was waved, they tried listening to his heart, but he ignored it, ignored it all. He was alive, nothing they did changed anything, and all he wants now is to kiss her.

He doesn’t stop even when they’re half shoved off the back of the ambulance, and he scoops her up again, pressing her against the side of the ambulance.

They have to come up for air eventually, but he’s not stopping yet.

It’s not until there’s a throat clearing behind him that he finally does, though, and Cassian pulls away, his grasp still tight under Jyn’s backside, and looks to see two men standing there… he knows who Bodhi is, and easily guesses the other man is Jyn’s father.

He honestly doesn’t have it in him to feel embarrassed.

“Young man, I just have to say that, while I am very sorry that you were nearly killed in my bathroom… I’m grateful that you were able to escape. My daughter seems… very taken with you.”

Cassian is trying to formulate a response, he really is, but Jyn is kissing at his neck, now, Cassian’s own body blocking the other two men from seeing, and he’s trying to not moan, but -

“Is that _perfume_ in your hands?” Bodhi asks, and Jyn pulls away, then, looking at the bottle.

Cassian smiles a little and nods.

“Yeah… hope this doesn’t sound weird…” He says those last words for Jyn only. “When I was looking to see what I had to use to get out of there, I found it. It’s her favorite scent. When I smelled it…”

He sounds romantic and sentimental and cheesy and absurd, but the truth is, it had given him a bit of hope he might get out of there. He pockets the bottle just in time, because two seconds later, Jyn is kissing him again.

When they come up for air again, her father and his aide are a few steps away, giving them privacy, and Cassian presses her forehead to his.

“Say it again,” he asks, and she blinks open her eyes to look at him.

“Say what?”

She’s teasing him, he thinks, and he ducks down, pressing a kiss to her lips. It’s quick, and then he pulls back again. “ _I love you_. Say it again.”

Jyn smiles at that, and he can’t help himself, chasing after her lips, but she pulls away, arching an eyebrow.

“Are you just saying that because I’m pretty?” she asks, and he laughs a little.

“No, I’m saying it because you can kick my ass, and I like it.”

He likes it a whole hell of a lot, and when he goes in for another kiss, she gives it to him.

This time when he pulls away from the kiss, he turns to look at her father, giving him a nod of his head.

“Sir, my name is Cassian Andor, I’m a former Secret Service Agent, and just so you’re aware, I’m in love with your daughter.”

He offers his hand as he finishes his words, and is met with a raise of an eyebrow that reminds him far too much of Jyn.

“Former? So you’re leaving the job because of the stress?”

Cassian shakes his head, looking down at Jyn with a smile. “No, I just found something a little bit better to do with my time…”

He shares a smile with Jyn, who looks ready to burst, when Bodhi steps forward, having just gotten off the phone. “Uhhh, sir, that was the White House. They heard about what happened here.”

Cassian is ready to step away, and he turns to Jyn, brushing her hair back from her face. “What do you say to us stealing one of the Agent’s cars, going back to your place, ordering a pizza, and then having sex in the shower while we wait for it to be delivered.”

She seems to ponder that idea for a moment, then shakes her head.

“Why don’t we steal a car, go to your former place, christen the entire apartment while packing it up, and then move you into _our_ place.”

They’re moving fast, so fucking fast, but Cassian doesn’t care. His fingers run into her hair again, and he cradles the back of her head, pulling her closer before pressing his lips to her forehead.

“- That means the two of you as well. The White House wants a full report immediately.”

They both look at Bodhi, and it’s Jyn that finally asks - “What?”

“The White House,” Bodhi explains, and Cassian blinks, trying to comprehend. “The President. He wants to see all of us.”

… _Oh_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Andddddddd that's that?  
> Did y'all love it? Hate it?  
> I'm sorry if it didn't live up to the hype.  
> I'm 1000000% not the person for "mission fics" but then we have this and so yeah?
> 
>  
> 
> I'm working on the Epilogue but it probably won't be up until SATURDAY. I'm hoping to have the next chapter of the amnesia fic up on Thursday, so yeah. OR IDK MAYBE ILL FLIP THOSE it just depends on how it goes.
> 
> xoxo wine mom


	9. Epilogue

Cassian is in a bit of a daze when he slides into the BACK of a SUV, not in the front, and he’s seated in the back row beside Jyn, who hasn’t let go of him. They’re holding hands, and her head is on his shoulder, and he’s… he’s on his way to the fucking WHITE HOUSE and he honestly doesn’t know what’s going on.

He’s in the back of an SUV like he’s someone that actually matters with a Senator, a Senator’s daughter, and a Senator’s Aide, and he’s about to meet the President. No, he totally isn’t panicking. He’s totally not freaking out.

“Why is your heart racing?” Jyn whispers, and Cassian blinks, looking down at her. Jyn has worry written all over her face, and he shakes his head a little, because he doesn’t have an answer, not really.

“I just… we’re going to the White House.” He’s not sure his voice properly conveys how in shock he is, so he tries again. “Jyn, I’ve never ridden in the back of the SUV before. Just the front.”

Her head tilts to the side, and then there’s a tiny smile, like she’s amused. “Are you nervous about meeting President Organa?”

The answer is 100% yes and there is no reason in the world as to why he shouldn’t be nervous right now. 

“Don’t tell me you also have a crush on Leia.”

He has to think for a moment to remember that that’s the President’s daughter, and then gives a jerky shake of his head. “Of course not.”

“Well good, because Leia happens to have a thing for bad boys that break the rules.” There’s a smirk on her lips, and Cassian blinks, processing her words. At first glance, she’s saying that he’s not the girl’s type, but on second…

“Did you just call me a bad boy?”

The grin on her lips says yes, and then suddenly, her father is looking back at the pair of them, eyes thinning. “I would greatly appreciate if the pair of you would refrain from your flirtations while in front of the President… even if he is an old family friend.”

Cassian mouths the words to Jyn, who gives a shrug, and shifts back to her head on his shoulder.

“I may have roomed with Leia in college, and let me tell you, she is  _ quite  _ the snorer…”

 

* * *

 

Cassian is still in a daze when they pull up in the guest parking area underneath the White House, and he’s really trying to keep calm, but he thinks he might be scaring Jyn. When they climb out of the SUV, he’s cool, he’s calm, his face is completely clear, but she keeps tugging at his hand, making him look at her.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” she asks, and he shakes his head, unable to find the words. “Well, you’re kind of freaking me out with how tense you are.”

Right. Right, they’re still holding hands, and he’s gripping so tight, when he looks down, her fingertips are turning white.

“Christ, sorry,” he mutters, and he lets go, flexing his fingers as he does so. She flexes her hand in response, then grabs his again. “Jyn, I just… I’m just an agent, and now I’m…”

“About to meet the President because of me?”

He nods a little, and she smiles up at him. They’re lagging behind from the others, and Bodhi is chatting with the President’s Chief of Staff, and Galen looks entirely relaxed, and Cassian is… Cassian is sweating in his suit. He’s definitely glad that he had thrown his jacket on before escaping the house, because it’s hiding some of the sweat stains, but he can still feel it now.

“I’m… Jyn, I’m not sure I can…”

She looks genuinely concerned for a moment, and then takes both of his hands into hers, stepping close again, her eyes locked with his. “You literally just defused a bomb to get back to me, and you’re freaking out because of the President? Cassian… you need to breathe.”

Technically, he hadn’t defused a bomb, but he wasn’t going to argue semantics with her. “I think it’s all just catching up on me, the whole bomb thing, almost dying, meeting your father…”

“Confessing your love for me?” she offers, and there’s a smile on her lips, so all he can do is nod back.

“I just… Jyn, I have to confess, I just did things because I didn’t know what else to do, and for the first time in my life, I have some sort of a purpose, but it’s all happening  _ really _ fast.”

Now she really does look concerned, and he steps forward, his forehead pressing to hers. “I just mean… I wish it went back to being us, back at your place… our place…”

She’s softening against him, and he rethinks his words, and thinks…

“I thought you meant our relationship was moving too fast.”

He smiles, their lips almost brushing, and he shakes his head. “It’s moving fast, but honestly, Jyn, all I could think about when I was trapped in that bathroom was that I-”

“Are you two coming, or what?”

They both looked up to see Bodhi standing there, an annoyed look on his face, with Jyn and Cassian both caught in a moment. She smiles at him, and he smiles back, then pulls away, still holding onto her hand. It’s a moment interrupted, yes, but…

“Are you sure the President wants to meet me?” Cassian asks as they fall into step with Bodhi, and Bodhi has shifted to walk on his other side, almost like he’s making sure they don’t get lost again.

“Asked for you specifically by name, I’m told,” Bodhi confirms, and Cassian just… he nods.

_ By name _ .

No, he’s not panicking.

He’s not panicking as he walks down hallways that no Agent has any business walking down unless they’re on Presidential Protection, and he’s definitely not that important enough, doesn’t have enough years in. He definitely doesn’t qualify to even be walking into the room he’s about to walk into, and for the love of god it’s the Oval Office.

He’s standing in the Oval Office, and the man that he just kind of brushed off to instead make out with his daughter is currently chatting with the President, who has his arm slung around the man’s shoulder.

“Jyn, my dear, you look like you came out of the event unscathed,” the man is saying, and Cassian loves her, he really does, but she looks exhausted, like how he feels, with her hair a bit of a mess, dried tears on her face, and eyes still red. 

“And this must be the man of the hour. Thank you, Agent Andor, for keeping this family safe. We might not be from the same party, but they are good friends of my family.”

It happens so fast, his hand is being grabbed, shaken by the President, and then the two men are talking again, the President already moving on.

He looks at Jyn, who just looks amused, and maybe he’s a little lost for a moment, blinking as he takes in the situation.

“Not so fast, Mr. President,” her father is saying, and Cassian looks up hard, trying to process why the attention is coming back to him. “I think you may be seeing a good deal more of this young man, as he happens to also be my future son-in-law.”

Cassian’s face is burning so red he thinks he might faint, and when the President looks at him, it’s with a new eye, like he’s analyzing him, taking him all in. “Huh. So you get assigned to watch our Jyn, and you… what, fall in love with her?”

It’s two seconds of being stared at, and then the men are back at it again “- Can’t say I’m surprised. She’s just like your Lyra, Galen. You never stood a chance with her either.”

“I wouldn’t say that he’s like me at all, Mr. President. I think that he might be the Lyra, helping to guide the wayward Erso back home.”

His face is definitely burning red, and he’s so still, frozen in place, that Cassian doesn’t even notice Jyn shifting closer to him, her hand linking up with his.

“Wish that daughter of mine would find herself someone with a respectable past, but she’s shacking up with some journalist that writes his own paper, the Falcon, or something like that. She thinks I don’t know what they’re up to, but I suspect he might just be at Thanksgiving dinner this year.”

The two men are shifting over to one side of the room, and Cassian doesn’t hear anything until there’s a mention of a fine whiskey, and then a side door that definitely wasn’t there five minutes ago opens, and they slip out. The door behind them, where Bodhi had ushered them in, is still shut, leaving Cassian and Jyn standing alone in the middle of the Oval Office.

“I just met the President,” Cassian says, and it comes out in a rush.

“My dad just called you his future son-in-law,” comes the response, and he looks down at Jyn, looks for any sense of panic, but instead, there’s a pleased smile on her lips.

“Yeah,” Cassian finally says, and he licks his lips. “Yeah… he did.”

The smile brightens more on her lips, and she steps in front of him, her hands going to his chest, then sliding upwards. “My dad thinks I want to marry you....”

There’s no doubt in Cassian’s mind that he would love to marry the hell out of this woman, but he wants to make sure she feels the same way. “Where would he get an idea like that?”

He’s almost breathless when the blush spreads over her cheeks, and he knows. He knows that Jyn must have told him, must have hinted to her father how she felt about him.

Fucking hell, he’s going to marry this woman.

Her fingers are playing with the hair at the back of his neck, and he runs his hands down her sides, pulling her closer. They’re both grinning, now, and he means to say it mentally, means to keep it to himself, but the words slip past his lips.

“Jyn Erso-Andor.”

She blinks, and that’s the only sign that he said it outloud, and then she looks absurdly pleased. “Both last names?”

He nods, tongue flicking over his lips, “Unless you want to go alphabetical order. Jyn Andor-Erso.”

He’s not proposing, he’s not going to get down on one knee, but fuck he is really thinking about it right now, ring or not.

“What makes you think I want to hyphenate?”

He… doesn’t have an answer. “You just… I wouldn’t make you give up your last name. That’s a horrible tradition. But, I would also pick up yours.”

“Cassian Andor-Erso?” she asks, and he gives a shrug. “Cassian Erso-Andor.”

He likes the sound of the second one, but that’s not the priority right now.

“I’m going to kiss you now, in the middle of the Oval Office.”

If he had a ring, he might actually propose, but instead, he kisses her, kisses her softly, because he loves this woman, loves how she clings to him, how she knows him so well. He pulls away after a moment, eyes closed, and his forehead touching hers, when she responds.

“Oh no you’re going to do a lot more than that.”

His eyes open just in time to feel her pulling away, a smirk on her lips, and she approaches the desk,  _ the desk _ , lifting up the back of her skirt as she does so. He can see nothing until suddenly there’s lace and lingerie and she’s wearing underwear from the box he had had to pick from.

There’s a giant hole in the middle of them, and his brain actually malfunctions.

“Jyn,” he hisses, and he walks over quickly, trying to pull her dress down. “There’s probably security cameras in here!”

Jyn just laughs, looking back over her shoulder, and her hands press into the desk, giving her leverage to push back against him. “Then you had better hurry up and fuck me.”

He considers it, he really considers it, considers pulling her dress down, considers stepping away, considers… no he doesn’t. In two seconds, he has his zipper pulled down and his cock in his hand, and he strokes it just a few times before he’s lining himself up and pressing into her.

He’s fucking Jyn Erso in the Oval Office. He’s fucking Jyn Erso, his  _ future wife _ , on the President’s  _ desk _ .

He’ll curse himself for it later, but right now, she’s trying to lean forward, going onto tiptoes, and he wants his mouth on her throat. 

It’s a good thing her hair is already a bit wild, because Cassian grabs a handfull of it, pulling her back up, pulling her so that her back is arching against his chest. His mouth goes at her neck, leaving an open mouthed kiss, and she’s so fucking wet already, has clearly been thinking about this.

“How long have you been thinking about this?” he asks against her throat, and he jerks his hip back before fucking into her again, hard. She lets out a whine, going up onto tiptoes, but he pulls on her hair harder, keeping her in place.

“Since I knew we were on our way here. Leia and I made a bet which of us could do it first. Looks like I won.”

He scoffs into her skin, pulling back again, and starts rocking his hips in time, short little thrusts, working his way all the way into her. He bottoms out and lets go of her hair, both of them letting out a groan.

“You’re fucking me for a bet?” he asks, and she’s leaning forward, leaning forward and grabbing the other side of the desk, and he’s actually, literally, fucking his girlfriend over the President’s desk. Her feet aren’t even touching the ground anymore, and it makes him even harder.

“I’m fucking you because-  _ harder _ .”

He does as told, not wasting any time, and the angle is all wrong for her, but he can get her off, well more finish her, after he has fucked her halfway across the desk. Both of his hands go to her hips, and he keeps dragging her back onto him as she is pushed up further onto the desk, further away from him.

It only takes a few minutes before he’s ready to cum.

“So fucking close,” he grits out, and she’s tightening around him, a clear sign that she likes the thought, and he fucks her harder, his pace losing rhythm, but still going. He fucks her until he can’t breathe anymore, and when he leans over her, his head resting on her lower back, he reaches underneath the front of her desk, rolling her clit with his fingers. 

It only takes a minute, and she’s cumming around his cock, their mixed fluids running down the inside of her thighs, and onto the front of his pants.

He really doesn’t fucking care.

There’s a knock at the door, just as Jyn is wiping at herself with a pack of tissues and he has his belt back on, and then it opens, Bodhi on the other side. Cassian freezes, remembering the security feed, and - 

“Apparently, the person watching the cameras tonight likes the pair of you - there’s a car waiting to take you back to your place, Jyn. I’ll make the excuses….  _ Honestly _ , on the President’s desk?”

Cassian doesn’t even have it in himself to feel ashamed, and just smirks as he follows Jyn out.

“Your place or mine?” he asks as they’re walking down the hall, and she grabs his hand, squeezing tight. 

“Your place to pack, then ours.”

He really likes the sound of that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And.... That's that!
> 
> There will not be any follow ups, although I am open to maybe ficlet prompts in this universe on tumblr, but I'll accept ficlet prompts for any / all of my fics on tumblr, tbh, for random follow ups or whatever meme you see.
> 
> I really hope everyone enjoyed this. A few people have commented that I could try getting this published, expanding on the start, working on it more, making each of the days in the middle there it's own chapter... thoughts? Comment if you would love to see me try and self publish this as a real work ( with name changes ofc but we would all know which couple this is based on ).
> 
> Amnesia Fic is still in the works, I have a smol!RC fic series going on tumblr ( that i'll post on ao3 once it's done ), and it's Droid Week this week on tumblr, so I'm busy with that. I have a bunch of stuff still in the works, lots of ficlets, lots of random AUs, but really, if you want to find me, hit me up on [tumblr](http://melanoradrood.tumblr.com)!


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